parting ways?

this weekend, a part of me will be on display. if i should be so lucky, that same part of me could find its new home in some creative space somewhere, lovingly looked at and cared for everyday thereon. at worst, that part of me would make its way back to me till further offers and/or opportunities come up. meanwhile, this is me, this weekend then. well, that part of me.

the very creative and terribly enthusiastic people here have very kindly 'interviewed' me. just that on its own made my days and week ... and possibly days and weeks to come.

impacting one from afar ...

for someone who almost never follows the drama that is today's political scene (in any country, i'd say), i found myself glued to the tv throughout the broadcast of the US election results. never have i watched so much CNN at my own will! lol

but tell me who was not moved by the speech that was so humble and real and 'accessible'? it really felt like he, Mr President-Elect Obama spoke to his friends and peers, rather than 'preaching' or presenting a stiff talk of sorts to the people of his country.

a couple of sentences in his speech stood out for me more than others ...

"There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how theyll make the mortgage, or pay their doctors bills, or save enough for college".

that to me, was very much reaching out to the ordinary neighbours and offering words of assurance and hope, having first identified and acknowledging the issue at hand. maybe because i am a parent myself now, and maybe too because since the arrival of Baby Z, my thoughts and concerns on the upbringing and provision of a good home, health and education is of upmost importance to me now, that this sentence in his speech stood out a bit more than others.

...

"And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way its been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand."

this one was like a promise of a better many days ahead. and who knew an innocent cartoon character would inspire Mr-(too-handsome-i-can't-seem-to-wipe-the-smirk-off-my-face-whenever-i-watch-him-or-read-on-him) President-Elect Obama so much? taking his cue from a certain builder (known fondly for his talking tractor, crane, cement mixer, snow mobile and their other friends), Mr Obama gave hope and promise to his people that they too can overcome whatever barriers previously built, whatever limitation to equality previously lived by and whatever dreams previously crushed. in three simple words, he once again gave much assurance to his now-moved-but-overly-joyed people; "yes we can".

...

i'm not an American, nor did i spend some time there in my tertiary education years, but i can imagine the pride as well as the humility the Americans must have felt and possibly still do at the outcome of the results. as an onlooker, who no doubt will benefit or otherwise from the election results (only coz the US is such a powerful nation to the rest of the world), i'm just thrilled for them and am hoping for only better years to come for all of us and all of our children too.

there's hope still. yes we can. insyaAllah ...

i'm done

... seriously

but they'll still always be our lil ones, yes?

Big Z now goes to the loo by himself. He wants no help from us and insists he's big enough to clean up after on his own. It's been this way since early this year, but with the occasional shout for help (to clean up) every now and again. But the past month, he's suddenly decided he's all very grown-up; goes to the bathroom, locks the door behind him, sings while busying himself on the throne (yes, one should not waste time not singing, just because one is occupied ;-)), flushes and then washes up. I on the other hand, will be the restless mom waiting outside the bathroom for him to come out all clean or to call me in to help. So far, it's always the former though. He comes out not only having cleaned down there, but so too his arms and legs and sometimes hair. He might as well take a shower after each session!

It's always been "pee" in our household (as opposed to "shee-shee" or "pee pee" or "kencing" - do excuse my lingo here for a minute). So, imagine my surprise when I heard him say as he walked hurriedly to the bathroom some 3 nites back "ohhh ... i really need to urinate now". "urinate" ... like seriously?? Even I don't use the word. It's good, yes, but wow ... I didn't see that coming.

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And Baby Z will turn 7 months day after tomorrow. SEVEN months??! Explains her very lip-smacking ways when she sees us eat. I guess a bigger meal portion for her should be seen to now.

a trip to the paed's ...

The lil one isn't at her happiest and healthiest. After a restless and sleepless night, coupled by a bit of wheezing, we brought her in to her paed this morning. A quick check and the doc confirmed she's got acute bronchiolitis. The poor girl. According to her paed, it's contagious, so she must have contracted the virus from someone. The good news is, it's common apparently to have this, among babies and toddlers. on that note, the paed wasn't too worried and assured us it'l be fine with the given medication. The bad news is, she needs to be on the nebulizer twice a day for three days straight. it wasn't the most pleasant thing to watch your 6 month old baby experience. But Zayaan was quite the champ, not budging or crying till the last 5 minutes on the thing when she clearly had about enough of the mist blowing to her face the way that the nebulizer works. So, after breaking fast, dinner and prayers tonight, we'll be making our way to the ER at the hospital then for her treatment.


This is what she has, as per according to The Medical Dictionary:

Bronchiolitis is extremely common. It occurs most often in children between the ages of two and 24 months, with peak infection occurring between three and six months of age.Children who attend daycare or who live in crowded conditions and those who are exposed to second-hand smoke at home are more likely to develop bronchiolitis. Bronchiolitis is caused by several different viruses. The most common of these is respiratory syncytial virus (RVS), which is responsible for about 100,000 hospitalizations of children under age four each year. Two subtypes of RSV have been identified, one of which causes most of the severe bronchiolitis infections. In addition, bronchiolitis can be caused by influenza, parainfluenza, and adenoviruses, all of which are common from fall through spring. These viruses are spread in tiny drops of fluid from an infected person's nose and mouth through direct contact, such as shaking hands, or kissing. The viruses can also live several hours on countertops, toys, or used tissues and easily infect people who handle contaminated items. The time from infection to the appearance of symptoms varies from two to seven days.

Just referring to the above, we don't send Zayaan to any daycare centre, we're a family of four an it's just the four of us living in the house and both the Daddy nor i smoke, so she isn't at all exposed to second-hand smoke. But, we have been going out, meeting people, family and friends, even the chance 'contact' wit stangers at some local mall could have triggered this in her. On the one hand, it seems pretty unfair, but then again, as pointed out by a friend, we're humans after all; only so much you can do to prevent such things. Let's just hope this won't overstay their welcome in her lil body for much longer now.

never too young to be ambitious ...

back in my school days (circa '85 to mid '90s) when we had to fill in those yearly school forms indicating our ambitions (3 to be precise), it was always 1.architect, 2. interior designer or kindergarten teacher and 3. housewife. that's right, yours truly was never really one with such great big ambitions and/or a taste for many things. i carefully picked my interest and narrowed it down. the second choice alternated between the years; one year i thought i'd give interior design a go, the next, the thought of surrounding myself with keen and innocent kids to teach in colourful environments that are preschools seemed very appealing. if choices 1 and 2 failed, i'd resort to being a housewife; a safe bet, and nevermind that i wasn't too big on the idea of getting married though ... but that'll have to be another blog entry.

now that i'm all of 30 years (ah yes, the big 3-0 greeted me nice and well on the 30th of last month), it's enlightening to see how even from the tender age of 7 to the not-so-tender-but-still-young-nevertheless age of 15, i had clearly seen 'housewife' as a job of sorts. an ambition and role noteworthy enough to be listed on such forms.

as it turns out, i obligingly met my list. the third option, no less, but that counts still to meeting my ambition, yes?

just a bit of background check here ... i did get myself into architecture school at uni, but having spent all of a semester there (that's right, shame on me!), i realised it wasn't really me after all. i could appreciate the field in itself, but i really couldn't see myself practicing it. i ended up graduating with a degree in Marketing Communications, something i had never thought i'd have an inkling towards, but as it turned out, was something i had a lot of passion for and considering (i wasn't your straight-As student in school), i did pretty well in uni with the degree. ok, but that wasn't my point. not quite at least.

...........................................

see, the past few days, Big Z has been asking me lots. as per usual, i guess. lol ... but this time it's been on ambitions and one's job. this conversation took place between him and i (and my dad).

we were watching my er DVDs one night ...

Big Z : so what are they doing there now? is the kid gonna be alright? is he still going to feel the pain?

me : no ... if they look after him well enough and he takes his medicine, he'll be well again

Big Z : oh, ok then. so that's the doctor's job, right? the kid's gonna be well coz the doctor is helping him, right?

me : yup, that's right. when you're not well, you see a doctor and he'll make u feel better, but u must take the medicine he gives you. ... do you like watching this? you like er?

Big Z : yes! i like it. i like it coz i see the kid not well and then he's well again. .... i think i want to do this la, Mummy.

me : do what? be a doctor?

Big Z : yes. so i can make people feel better.

me : ahh .. good. that's nice, Zarif.

Big Z : oh, but wait, Mummy! ... doctors ... do they have a lot of money??

me : hahahaha .. yes ... they'll have money, yes.

Big Z : ok. i think i can be a doctor then.

..............................................

at a later date, one night before going to bed ...

Big Z : hey Mummy ... what's Atok's job again?

me : ok ... what does Atok do? do you remember?

Big Z : yes! he built my house ... and his house ... and other houses too, right?

me : that's right. and offices and hotels and mosques too. he's an architect then .. he designs and builds buildings.

Big Z : whoa!! ... yes, architect. i forgot. ok ... what bout London? did he build London?

me : no ... (thinking by saying this i'd end conversation early ... how wrong i was!)

Big Z : what??!! he didn't?? .... awww Mummy ... you call Atok now, please. call! ask him why he didn't build London.

a quick sms to my dad relating this query from his grandson, my dad calls me up ...

Big Z : Atok ... why you didn't build London??!!

Atok : (in between laughs) i didn't build London .. but i DID design some buildings there .. some offices.

Big Z : whoaa!!! really?? ... hey Mummy .. he did laaaa!

me and Atok (on phone) : laughing at the enthusiasm that is the Big Z

Big Z : so did you build Thomasland too? in London?

Atok : no ... but i also designed some (buildings) in Maldives and Bangkok

Big Z : yea?? ... what land is Bangkok? is it Thomasland? (notice how Thomas is still his top priority in life! haha)

Atok : what land? Bangkok is Thai-land

me : (was containing my laugh at this point and my dad was already cracking up on the other end .. haha)

Big Z : heyyyy ... what land is that again?? (and then looks at me strangely, holding the phone away from his face a bit while giving me this look as if to say his granddad is mocking him ... haha)

a short while later, he ended the call with my dad.

Big Z : so ... can architect have money?

me : yea ... they can. you want to be an architect then?

Big Z : hmm ... okaayyyy .. but, i also want to be a train driver so i can drive my own train. but Mummy ... i build the tracks and the buildings too, and then i drive the train.

me : (trying hard to just be supportive and not laugh at 5 year old son's innocent ways) ok sweetie ... you do that then. what bout being a doctor?

Big Z : aawww man! ... so many things i have to do now.

lol


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that's my son then. makes me wonder what else he thinks about in his busy head.
going back to my own list of ambitions/jobs ... i wonder if he'll end up as a train driver, an architect or a doctor. any of those, none of those, or if he had it his way (his 5 year old way, that is), all of the three! haha ... though let's be real here .. i'm not sure how to react if my child ends up telling me he really truly wants to be a train driver, and nothing else. oh.dear!

6 months!

almost as fast as Big Z turned 5 last week, Baby Z turned 6 months couple days ago. of course, really, technically speaking, that first sentence doesn't make sense, but you get where i'm going, yea?

if there's one word to describe Baby Z, it'll have to be 'big'. Baby Z really is rather on the 'big' side. them baby's growth progress charts you have on the medical record book thingy ... let's just say her dot to represent her growth since birth has always rocketed above the average line. she's both heavier and longer/taller than the average baby at her age.

:: month 0 - was only 2 weeks old here ::

:: month 1 ::

:: month 2 ::

:: month 3 ::

:: month 4 ::

:: month 5 ::

:: month 6 ::
................................

but with big (physical), comes big in personality too. baby Z has always appeared very alert and aware of her surroundings. this, something i'd observed from her 1st month. she'd notice and respond when you call out her name and at times will wriggle or kick her legs in approval and enthusiasm when you call out her full name. on that note, it's good to know she likes her name too. ;-) while rather shy and reserved with other people, at home, when it's just the four of us, she's full of laughter. and recently she's added some 'words' to her vocabulary too. i swear she's been trying to say "hello" and "alright" a few times now. hard to believe, yea? hehe. but both the Daddy and Big Z heard her attempts too on separate occasions. so, either it's true, or we're all very much disillusioned here. lol

at 6 months old, Baby Z's able to sit up unaided, though i still fear a tumble of sorts, so cushions around her are aplenty when placing her seated anywhere. she's also very much in love with her chubby lil hands and loves studying her fingers, bringing them up close to her eyes, and then away from her and back again to her eyes. putting her on her back for a change will see her roll over almost immediately and then getting stuck, not knowing quite how to roll back. there are times she rolls over and back again in lightning speed, but often it'll be just one way and then will kick away waiting for someone to come to her aid. quite an adorable sight, if i may be so bold to brag about here. ha-ha!

to date, there's no visible sign of any tooth making their debut in her cute lil mouth, but she does push her finger(s) in her mouth quite a bit; first with soothing happiness, then escalates into anger and annoyance. and i'm thinking: why push it so far in then, my dear?? Big Z never sucked his thumb or pushed fingers into his mouth. people say it's sign of teething, but Baby Z's been doing this since 4 months-ish and still, no sign of teeth .. so i'm taking it as purely habitual fun for her.

as mentioned above, she's rather pleasant and happy at home. her biggest smiles and laughs though are reserved for her big brother. all he needs to do is walk into a room she's in and those happy feet and legs will start kicking and dancing. the smile almost immediately too cracks up some comical laughter and soon both Zs will be laughing together. on a mommy's viewpoint ... watching such innocent joy from her kids just makes it (motherhood) all that much more worthwhile. i do wonder how their relationship will be over the years. there'll no doubt be the sibling squabbles, and i'm anticipating the bulk of such squabbles be when they're 7 and 2 respectively (if not sooner!). but generally, as a whole, i hope and pray that theirs (relationship) will be one filled with much love, care and respect for each other. i'd like to see how they'll defend each other at times when either one of them or both are caught (by the Daddy and/or myself) for some naughty lil act they've done.

:: laughing at her brother's antics ::

:: the closeness that is Big Z and Baby Z ::

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now that Baby Z's 6 months old, i'm reminding myself to start thinking up and preparing the necessary for her 1st birthday party. will there be a theme? of course! it's her first, and i'm going to go all out (budget permitting, naturally) with her 1st birthday. i already do have the theme and party favours in mind, but i haven't started making/preparing anything just yet.