: patterns aside :

Wisteria Lane, ours isn't, but Big Lime ain't that bad either ;-)

2010-11-23T00:15:00.000-08:00

i've neglected this blog much too long. the last post was of the Z starting the big school. he's now on his year-end holidays having completed his first year in the big school. a year goes by too fast. and what a year this has turned out to be! i won't bore you with the details that has been my most eventful (not particularly happy events, mind you) year yet. maybe for a later post. when i get to it.

..........................................................

for now, i'll instead share with you a happy + pretty neighbourhood i came across. how fun blog-hopping gets!
this is Daybreak in Utah.

(all images via 6th street design school)

don't you just feel like packing your essentials, bring a loved one or two, or the whole clan (you might as well), spend some happy days there sitting in brightly-coloured homes, walking in pristine streets with the brightly-coloured homes + mountains in the background and all the while photographing your days there. picture perfect. looking at these photos, i drew a parallel to Wisteria Lane. it reminds me of The Truman Show's set too. both of which are crisp, bright, a little superficial, but happy all the same (ok, so maybe not quite in both instances, given their storylines, but in the aesthetic sense, they're pretty surbabia sets, yes?).

closer to home, here on Big Lime (street), there's the calmness + silence, albeit for the occasional cries + laughter from the youngest in the street (my Zs included, though to be fair, they may jusssst contribute a bit more than the other kids here *tsk tsk*), some random music from the back house, the knocking + drilling from some homes ready for their makeovers. it's not as pretty a street as the above neighbourhood in Utah, but it's liveable and mostly safe and clean. and most importantly, we're lucky to have great neighbours.

...................................................

now, remind me again why i'm limiting my house to just plain white walls? what's stopping me (besides the husband's head-shaking + remarks, that is) from having mustard or taupe or even pink walls? there's the playroom i'm so keen on tweaking + adding colour to. think happy Daybreak houses ... maybe then i'll have the courage to turn this into a school holiday project.

what's your neighbourhood like? what's your holiday (dream) project like?

....................................................

*on the Z front, he's fared reasonably well this first year. of course, there's still room for improvement, but it could have been worse too. so, chin up, and let's work harder + smarter next year onwards*

Big Z starts the big school ...

2010-01-10T23:09:00.001-08:00

(this post goes out to, specifically, parents sending their firstborns to the big school ... and all other parents in general)

having your firstborn in the big school is something new altogether. you prepare yourself for the transition - days, weeks, months prior ...

: packing only the sharpest of pencils + colour pencils will now be a daily routine :

... but it doesn't fully equip you still till (in my case) after the fiasco of the first week has phased out.

as newbies, us parents were allowed to be in the school (albeit, by the canteen area only during class hours) throughout the first week. we chose to come every recess time, saw Z through his recess meal + playtime, and left after he's sat back in his class. we were back in school in time to see him pack up, line up, thanked his teacher and said his goodbye to his friends each day. but this week, starting today, we're only allowed to do the drop-off and fetching sessions. fair enough ... this is after all, NOT a kindie.

so. this morning called for a strong mommy in me. in truth though, i had wanted to be able to stretch the morning routine a bit. steal more glances, hold onto his hand longer, watched as he took his pencil case out and sat patiently for the day to begin. and then later on mid-morning, i had wanted to walk him to the canteen, see that he washes his hands properly before and after his meal and walk back to his class (and not be confused and walk into some random class, because well, you know, Z's a lil funny like that). but of course, had i gave in to all these 'wants' that i had, it'll only leave me looking like a fool, and a rather spoilt mom too, while at it. instead, i took the 'tunjuk berani + calm' route. walked him to class, saw that he settled in OK (bag down, then lined up with the class outside to make their way to assembly).

before i left, i reminded him where to wait for me after school, and looking back at me was this confident lil young man. it hit me then. sure, he'll always still be my lil boy needy of my every assistance. reality is, he's grown up. he's learning to adapt to things, new people, new surroundings, new routine, and he's done me proud thus far to have adapted to all of these 'newsies' so well.

: my resident BFF all grown up now :

on that note ... here's to school runs, PTA meets, mommy breakfasts, homework checks, exam revisions, sports days, school competitions, and all the other wonderful things that make up your typical local big school. (i'm conveniently pretending that only good things happen in his school ... none of those bullying + cheating + over-competitive parents issues to live through)

Ya Allah, give me much and much strength to fully embark on this new chapter ...

have you had your cuppa?

2010-01-06T22:34:00.000-08:00

sometimes, what does the trick is a simple impulsive act. not 'simple' in its literal meaning. rather, in the monetary and material sense of things.

the past couple of weeks have been rather hectic on my end. both emotionally and physically exhausting, putting it short. i've all sorts on my mind, and it's really been affecting my body in more ways than i can handle. but i'm still just riding it through, pretending it will all pass by soon enough. for starters, i haven't slept at night in almost a month now. if you call half an hour to an hour's nap at night (anytime from 8pm to 6am) sound sleep, then that i've managed to achieve. otherwise, i'm almost an insomniac, if i dare self-diagnose my current state.

at just after 2 in the morning couple nights back, not able to sleep yet again, and needing a little distraction (from work), i found myself in the kitchen dicing potatoes + onions + carrots + stirring in corn kernels + crabmeat + ground ginger + pinches of salt ... all to make this ...

... (my version of) sweetcorn + crabmeat chowder

stillness of the night, absolute silence with everyone else fast asleep. the cold of the air-conditioning, Desperate Housewives on play while i took a break from brushes + acrylics ... it was a good cuppa soup for one.

i say, anytime of day or night, indulge in a cuppa. if nothing or no one else puts a smile and that happy feeling in you, your choice of cuppa will. try it.

my constant 'Wonderland' ...

2009-12-19T04:29:00.000-08:00

we were away the first 2 weeks of December.

it was, in some many ways a holiday of firsts. first long flight for Zayaan - her previous flights had been to Bali, Hong Kong, Jakarta and Bangkok. first UK trip for Zayaan. first least-spent (shopping-wise) UK holiday for me - been back 4 times since coming back home for good, and this recent trip saw me spend the least. shocking, but it was somewhat planned. i decided to make it more of a walking-down-memory-lane kinda trip, rather than a shopping spree one. the husband was there mainly to attend some meetings - hoping for post-meetings good news during the first half of 2010. *fingers crossed*

below, my personal picks from the hundreds of photos i took.

: watching London wake up :

: picture perfect from our apartment balcony :

: happy lounging kids :

: tired mummy + sleepy Zayaan :

: Flashdance! :

: when in the cold, sing your lungs out! :

: kitsch-vintage-y Christmas on Carnaby St. :
: after the rain on Regents St. :

: Leceister Square magic :

: Daddy + Zarif after some bumping fun :

: the Z-sibs :

: Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland 2009 :

: at St Pancras Station - Z1 teasing Z2 :

: Z2 defending herself :

: Z2 walks away a champ! :

: the trusty daily :

: the trusty transport :

: grandeur at the Natural History Museum :

: our lil man :

: o'curious one :

: favourite breakfast :

: reunited :

: very London - pretty petals :

: very London - bikes parked in a rush :

: very London - pigeon line-up :

: very London - red + black :

: very London - cold platform + lonely cup :

: the old address :

: the park facing the old apartment :

: the arrival home :

down to the last 2 weeks ...

2009-11-22T23:34:00.000-08:00

the school holidays have already begun ... for most kids, at least. Z's school closes for the end-of-year break in 2 weeks time.

last weekend, i found myself in a store looking at clothing items i last had close contact with some *ahem* more than 10 years ago ... let's just say lah.
my 6 year old is now the proud owner of 4 white shirts + 3 dark blue pants ... all set to officiate come late December (on the orientation day). that's right. rather than wait till the mad rush period later on, my friend and i decided to bring our boys (best friends to each other, they claim to be, by the way) out to get their (big) school uniforms, ready for their first day in January.

this second last week of his school term, they'll be introduced to the less-fortunate kids, those living in special homes + orphanages. there'll be talks + activities related to this topic and parents are encouraged to contribute certain items - mainly food stuff and toiletries - to the pre-selected homes. i'm looking at getting them bags of rice or sugar and possibly Milo and some simple plain biscuits. i should really find out if they'll welcome some old books and toys as well. what better way to let go of your unwanted things.

next week, his very last week in CH, there'll be a little farewell do for him. i'll be handing out some gifts for the teachers, as well as his classmates. they aren't big gifts, rather, ones that i hope will come in pretty handy at some point. more on this later on.

next week is also when we leave home for a much-needed holiday. well, work and holiday, though the work part only involves the husband really. i have yet to pack our things, the most i've done is to take out and air our suitcases. there's still more than a week to go ...

till the next update ...
to all moms with schooling kids, my thoughts are with you. having them at home those extra hours can always get a little ... challenging, shall we say? happy holidays to all!

sibling love

2009-11-11T21:45:00.000-08:00

a common sight at home will be of the Zs teasing each other, picking on each other, sharing food + snacks, fighting over the same toy or a limb of mine, laughing together and if luck's on our (my) side, soundly asleep next to each other. oh so rare! but we hope still and cherish the two, three times that that actually happened.

here's a typical Z-sibs moment together ...

: that'll be her laughing, not crying :

the Zs at Big Lime ...

2009-10-29T22:41:00.001-07:00

no excuses this time. i got to a point where i realised i just never was prompt and efficient enough to update this blog. each time i had a 'story' in mind to share, i got distracted by someone or something. kept putting it on hold, till finally last night i decided to 'pretty up' the blog's look a little. now that it's slightly more lively than was the previous layout, i may just be more inclined to update it as regularly as i did before (which was never all that regular to begin with).

will summarise the Zs' developments in this entry.
so. picking up from where i left you ... May, was it? talk about 'putting things on hold'!

..........................................................

: on Zarif :

: he's all of 6 years old now, attending his last month in kindie

: he'll start the big school come January ... it's the Mummy who's feeling anxious + excited, he's mostly just excited, especially now that his best friend's been accepted to the school too

: he's showing more sides of him that make me go "aawww ..." (even if just silently to myself), growing more independent by the day ... of course, with that comes a lot of "but i know it already, Mummy ... you don't have to keep telling me how to do it" moments

: he was in the hospital for 4 days, for severe dehydration + food poisoning + high fever back in June ... 2 weeks of bad health, was a real champ in the hospital though despite going to the loo over 20 times in a day! it was heart-breaking to watch, especially when he kept apologising for being ill, thanking me over and over for taking care of him ... (insert "aawww..." here)

: he's finally started his menagji class which he seems to enjoy ... granted, it's also a once a week playdate with his best friend

: had "the best birthday party ever, Mummy" when he turned 6 couple months back, where i indulged in planning + hosting a (very!) last-minute Transformers party for him

: he is his sister's biggest fan, but manages quite a bit of sibling fights + jealousy just the same

: has a few times asked me to have another baby, ".. because ... i already have a baby sister, i need a baby brother now ... so that i have 1 girl and 1 boy .. and then enough, Mummy. no more babies!"

: is starting to show some interest in football now .. pretty late, considering the Daddy's such a footie fan

: still eats anything and everything, and still is fussy with drinks .. only water, occasionally Milo or chocolate milk

: started to puasa this past Ramadhan ... though only puasa makan, he still drank ... and only for 3 days

some random photos of Zarif since May ...

: enthusiastic :

: focused :

: his 6th party :

: precious #1 smile :

.......................................................

: on Zayaan :

: she turned 20 months few days back

: as far as weight charts go, her current weight at 20 months is at the very peak of the curve ... healthy, let's just say *wink*

: she's got as much enery as her abang has, and then some!

: she's very alert + observant, which as a result can impress + amuse you and then annoy you soon after when she mimics every.single.thing you do, i kid you not!

: her vocab's pretty good though, dare i say ... she's definitely picked up language at a faster rate than the brother did at this age ... as much as i can recall now, some words + phrases she can say now include mummy, daddy, abang, nak, tak nak, no, ya, here, there, this, that, what's this, what's that, who's this, who's that, where's this, where's that, apa tu, come, open, tutup, cushion, bam (when she wants to lie down), baby, car, daw (doll), susu, te-gen (Vitagen), ball, shoes, duduk, take out this, u'oh, jatuh, tow (throw) bottle/botten, spoon, bowl, cat, eyes, teeth, tummy, poo-poo, Pooh, Emma (Elmo), bear, tees (fish), atok (my dad), nana (her girl cousins), ama (all maids), book, down, one, too (two), tee (three), kaiiss (five), teex (six), sebben (seven), A, B, tee (C), hewwohh (hello), bye

: she adores and idolises her big brother too much ... she'll follow his every move, making her quite good at the whole Transformers acts and poses and "boom-ing" of cars and such

: she fights considerably with the brother too, often bullying him ... the bullying is more her to him, rather than him to her

: she has very little toys ... after noticing her favouring everyday household objects (bowls, colanders, spoons, cups, books, boxes) more than she does pretty girly dainty toys, we basically haven't bought her that many toys ... but she does like them wooden puzzles and building blocks though

: besides her occasional reaction to extreme heat and certain foods with high egg content, she pretty much eats anything and everything ... i'm blessed, i suppose, having kids who eat anything, nevermind that it's almost constantly too!

: her current favourite cartoon characters will be Pocoyo, Elmo and Pooh

: she's very much her Daddy's little girl ... everytime he's out of town for work, she will almost immediately fall ill, leaving me with mad sleepless nights, he comes home and she's back to her healthy self ... it's weird, but according to my parents, i was just the same as a little girl; would be down with high fever when my dad went away for work, he gets back into town, and i'm fine again ... funny watching how your kid(s) inherit your certain trait(s)

: she'll be turning 2 in 3 months time ... this time last year, i was already busy preparing + making little bird things for her 1st BIRD-day party ... this year, i haven't done a single thing yet for her party, but have finally decided on a theme ... yay me! (more on this as i progress along with the party preparations)

some random photos of Zayaan since May ...

: observant :

: intrigued :

: meticulous :

: focused :

: precious #2 smile :

...........................................................

quite a 'summary' that was!

reuse + recycle

2009-05-13T05:02:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of "reuse + recycle" and the whole general concept of utilising everyday things around the house, I found the Z-boy in this state on his bed sometime last week.

:: busy arranging ::

I had asked him to practice some maths - addition and subtraction work. As I juggle my time between the two Zs (just two and already they make quite a circus the pair of them!), I often find myself not able to sit down with the Z-boy while he does some written work. Normally, I can manage some 10 minutes before having to watch over the Z-girl, who's determined to be the busiest 14-month old girl this side of town. Honestly, there's the bookshelves, the toy boxes, the kitchen cupboards (where only plastic containers are stored), the cushions on our sofas - all of which she sees her responsibility to fiddle with, arrange and rearrange a good dozen times a day. To save all from accidents and falls, I must have at least 3 pairs of eyes on her at all times. That'll be my real eyes, my glasses and that magical pair of eyes moms normally have at the back of our heads. ;-)

Back to the Z-boy then ...

He had taken a stack of his Thomas and Friends books (ones he no longer reads since "Thomas is not cool anymore, Mummy") and laid them out on his bed, adding to and taking away from the whole lot where appropriate. I wouldn't say it was the most affective method to the sums. He was very much into the play part of arranging and tossing away of books. But it also got him finishing 4 pages of sums that afternoon with no complaints.

He did pause a few times though when suddenly realising he's got a certain book. Kind of like how the Mummy is when trying to toss out old clothes ... pauses a bit to reminisce how a particular shirt once fit her so well or how she bought it on her way back from college all those many years back (a little too sentimental at times, yes).

:: ready to toss a book away ::

:: recording the answer ::

That's the tale then of how the Z-boy practiced some "reuse + recycle" concept into his homework. Old stuff put to new use.

Do you have a greener "reuse + recycle" tale to tell? I'm sure you do. Do share! :-)

wordplay

2009-05-03T20:25:00.000-07:00

I'm possibly one of the few moms around this end of the world (the competitive Asian end :P) who hasn't yet enrolled the Big Z in some enrichment class after school hours. Aside from reading books, the most extra bits he does will be the workbooks and some random homemade-by-me worksheets. In a good week, it'll be a daily thing. On a not-so-good week (shame on the mommy too), it'll be say twice a week.

Off late though, when it comes to copywriting work, he gets a wee bit too cheeky. The Daddy begs to differ though, citing his cheekiness as a sign of intelligence. Hmm ... we'll see. So, what I've spotted to date (some that i can recall, that is), were the following:

:: he had to write the word "saw" under a picture of a saw ... he wrote the word, but then flanked the 'saw' with two other words. it then became a simple short sentence "I saw you". ::

:: the word was 'well', under a picture of a well, yes. not too generous with his words this time, he added just one word before 'well'. more of a statement, it read "not well". ::

:: writing the names of animals' young ones ... when it came to a goat's lil one, instead of writing just 'kid', he wrote "skid". the illustration was of a running kid, so he possibly found the word 'skid' somewhat apt? ::

Little things then to illustrate further just how my 5 year old is by nature. Give him a task, he'll do it, yes. How he does it is a different story though. I still say it's his way of annoying me and the Daddy still says it's the genius in his son showing through.

Sporadic Shout-outs :: busy bee!

2009-04-29T02:24:00.000-07:00

acrylics, paper, canvas, scissors, printer, Vaio, ribbons, count, package, deliver, sigh of relief ...
that is and would be me in these next few weeks till the end of May, at the soonest.

:: these stairs see my feet too many times in any given day! ::

Sporadic Shout-outs :: weighty issues

2009-04-25T21:18:00.001-07:00

thought i'd start a new post/entry type.

sporadic shout-outs.

the spur-of-the-moment kind of thoughts, rants, cravings, ideas, pet-peeves, loves and the likes.

here's today's sporadic shout-out then ...

i swear i carry the whole (equivalent weight) of the Z-girl on my rear ... and that's WITHOUT even carrying the Z-girl!

feel free to participate and post your own sporadic shout-outs in your respective blogs, or simply post them in the comments that follow here.

what goes up must come down ...

2009-04-24T01:17:00.000-07:00

quite literally, here.

a common occurance at home is of random objects taking rapid dives, or rather, forced throws and falls from the upstairs family room to the downstairs living area, and vice versa. something about throwing things that always fascinates kids, yes? nevermind that the Z-boy has to make trips up and down the stairs to enjoy this game, as often, he plays on his own. recently though, the Z-girl (no longer a baby, i say) has discovered the joys of this home play activity. yesterday, i was thisclose to losing my phone as she ever-so-cautiously took my phone and waved it threateningly over the void area.

when things fly a bit too often and one too many things fly almost all at once, i obviously join in the 'fun'. my voice flies few notches louder, trying to tame things down. in response just moments ago, the Z-boy had this to say "i don't know why Mummy ... it's not me ... it's just my skull telling me what to do ... my skull is giving me ideas Mummy". ahh ... right. okay, my son. not your fault. just your skull then. of course he meant his brain, his mind that's always churning ideas, yes.

do yours (darling young ones of yours) have clever ideas that their skulls feed them with? ;-)
do share!

Wordless Wednesday :: Earth Day 2009

2009-04-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

to marry or not to marry ...

2009-04-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

was tucking in Big Z to bed the other night. laid down next to him till he was dozing off. few moments went by then he woke up again and asked why i was still there next to him. said that i could leave and that he's fine and asleep already.
the following conversation then took place ...

..................................................

me : but you're my favourite son and favourite boy .... i want to hug you a bit more

him : okay Mummy ... but you can go now. i'm sleeping already. see?

me : i know ... just a short while more. you go to sleep.

him : (mumbling away and still convincing me to leave him already!)

me : and soon you'll be a bigger boy .. and then when you're 10, maybe you'll say you don't want Mummy to hug you much already.

him : (restless in bed now) .... but i don't want to get married!

me : married?? you don't get married at 10!

him : yes ... but when i'm so big like Daddy ... i don't want to get married coz then you don't want to hug me.

me : (aaawwww ...) you don't have to get married so soon .. or you don't have to get married at all. BUT ... if you don't, you can't have kids. mummy married Daddy and Allah gave you and Zayaan to us. that's a good thing, right?

him : hmmm ... ok. yes. maybe i want to get married. i want kids also. but i don't want to get married now. only when i'm so big.

.............................................

with that, he hugged me tighter and told me to stay till he falls asleep again. tee-hee ... i bought me extra hugging time.

Bali bliss ...

2009-04-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

our short trip proved to be a good relaxing and family-bonding holiday. after my last trip there over 10 years ago, and seeing as the husband and kids haven't been there, we figured Bali would be a nice nearby getaway. we ventured out of our 'home' in Seminyak, to take in the sights elsewhere (Ubud, Nusa Dua and Kuta) and then spent the rest of the time doing not much else other than eat and swim. there's that guilt and regret now in me for welcoming too quickly and willingly the spread of food. this week now sees me looking very much the whale. (mental note to self: granted, it was a holiday away from home, but still ... some willpower to resist the temptation please!)

below, some photos from the trip then.

:: checked ourselves in here for 3 nights ::

:: ushered to our villa ::

:: our villa entrance ::

:: lounge ::

:: upstairs lounge ::

:: the pool ::

:: at Kori Ubud ::

:: of course, these 'friends' had to come along too ::

:: outside the villa's main door (and possibly my favourite photo from the holiday)::

:: walking along the Villa's pathway out onto the main street, Jalan Laksamana ::

:: gorgeous grounds of The Samaya, right across the street from our villa ::

:: morning walk along Seminyak Beach ::

..........................................................

great holiday. would definitely go back, but with the large number of very attractive hotels, resorts and villas, i'm sure we'd be tempted to spend our days and nights in a different one next time.

black or white ... no in-betweens

2009-03-30T20:34:00.000-07:00

this was Baby Z (not so much a baby now though, yea? what's the age limit to 'baby' anyway?) this morning as i was bathing her ...

me : is Zayaan the notti one?

Baby Z : no! (she says "noi" or "nyio")

me : is Zayaan the pretty one?

Baby Z : no!

me : is Zayaan the cute one?

Baby Z : ya!

me: is Zayaan the funny one?

Baby Z : ya!

..................................................

i guess she knows what she's like. we tend to know ourselves most after all, yes?

"is it only English in the big school? or there's Bahasa too??" ...

2009-03-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

we're going away for a short holiday tomorrow. nowhere that far from home, but it'll do us (rather, me) good, i'm sure.

..........................................................

Big Z's on his two-week Easter break. plan is to go on this short holiday this week and then hopefully next week, i could be the productive + creative mom to think up some fun home activities with him. oh, and his sister too, of course.

this is his last year in preschool before starting proper school next year. to say that i'm all ready and confident about the transition would be a lie. i'm nervous and anxious and paranoid. a bit much too, i'd say.

there's the big school + new environment + cleanliness of school + bullies + bigger, more serious school subjects + language. at the risk of sounding a bit 'orang putih', my son speaks and understands not-much Malay. in his present school, they have Bahasa Malaysia (or is it Melayu? i can never be at par with our education system and syllabus ... constantly changing their minds on one too many things!) twice a week. and on those two days, he cringes before leaving for school, just coz he knows he isn't comfortable with the subject. when i checked with his teachers, they say he does the work correctly, but is still a little fearful of the subject. he still gets his numbers wrong at times. for some reason, he can't seem to get 'lima', 'enam', 'sembilan' right. 'satu', 'dua', 'tiga', 'empat', 'tujuh' and 'sepuluh' are fine.

so. next year should be interesting, if not terrifying for us.

.......................................................

*oh. and the title above (Farah, i finally got one! hehe) is Big Z's famous question(s) to me whenever i talk to him about primary school. *

vote earth ...

2009-03-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

I'm not big on elections and the voting scene in general. (the fiasco, the ooohs and aaahhhs, the cringes and sighs that surround many a Malaysian the past day or so left me nowhere near bothered ... politically-inclined, you ask? nah .. not me) I'm not the greenest person either, you'll come to realise (my love for papers, books and magazines ... enough said!). But when something which strikes me as a simple but possibly very effective idea comes along, I'm all game to do whatever little part I can.

Earth Hour.

I'll let my knobbly index finger work extra time this Saturday the 28th March 2009 at 8:30pm, switch off the lights and VOTE EARTH. I'll be among the eager-beavers on my street, in my neighbourhood, in my state, my country, my continent, my earth, to care that bit more about our home, our planet.

..............................................

On the homefront in the past week, Zarif's picked the following book as his bedtime read.

:: On Earth by G. Brian Karas ::

He'll make me read it with him and then he has a go at it himself, under my watch. I bought the book sometime last year. This week, it suddenly got popular again at bedtime. Timely, I say. Mommies out there, this is a beautifully written and illustrated book you may like to get for your lil ones. Zarif especially likes the part on the different planets and months. He still thinks it's too good to be true that four family members (him and myself included) are August babies. And that no one in the whole famiy (that's 24 of us in total) is September-born.

......................................................

Good weekend then. And work that index finger, why doncha.

my first 'party client' ...

2009-03-16T21:29:00.000-07:00

After the (happy) fuss that was Zayaan's birthday party, and after the brilliant photos (of the party) were made public, I received more than I had imagined I would, lovely comments from various people. From those I'm closest to as well as those I'd meet say just once or twice a year. Encouraging words through personal sms-es, personal FB messages, emails as well as FB photo comments. I thank you all very much. But, I do feel too that the good photos played a large part in making the party looked prettier than what it probably really was.

In any case, all of this response led to an old friend asking me to plan a party for her. For her daughter's 1st birthday to be precise. It's under 2 months away now. I've done only rough sketches and made plenty of notes and doodles in my lil black book of ideas. Having said that, I'm excited and thrilled to have my first 'party client'. Helps too that she's an old friend, and one who just happens to be so easy to work with.

Here's the theme ...

:: image from Cupcakes Take the Cake ::

... though I'm going for something a little different and whimsical, just because. ;-)

On that note, wish me luck!

Zayaan's BIRD-day!

2009-03-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

we hosted a rather intimate (by definition of sorts) birthday party for Zayaan.
the theme was BIRDS, with the main colours being pink, brown, white and orange.
click here for more party photos.

photo credit goes out to the talented Nadia Fauzi.

Wordless Wednesday :: 1st Birthday!

2009-03-03T20:01:00.001-08:00

:: photo courtesy of Nadia Fauzi; more to come soon ::

she's ONE!!

2009-03-02T22:40:00.000-08:00

So. Our lil girl turned ONE recently. Last Wednesday, the 25th February.

..............................

Since Zayaan came into our lives, ours (home) has been a topsy-turvy one; to say the least. Not only have my hours and time management gone all over the place; so too have all of our priorities and emotions. When before, I only had to juggle mine, the husband's, the house and the son's needs ... I now have to juggle my daughter's needs too. When before I'd be the first and only one Zarif rushes to hug and kiss after school (only coz I insist on them, not so the Daddy), there's now Zayaan who often gets the first hug and kiss. But it's all good. It's really been a good addition to the family our lil girl is.

There's the flirtatious and contagious smile she flashes our way, a very common sight when she's up to no good especially. There's the vocab she's fast building up by the day - "dadda" for Daddy, "mamma" or "mammo" for Mommy, "abaa" for Abang, "oh nyoh ... oh nyoh ..." when she's crawling/walking away from us upon being caught for some mischief, "babohhh" (read: jatuh) when something falls or when she herself falls, "hewwohh" when we walk into a room and she's there to greet us.

A very simple 'celebration' was had on her actual birthday. The day was no different than any other - stayed at home with the abang and the mommy. After dinner, the daddy took us out for a drive. Bought the Old Fashioned doughnut from Dunkin Donuts, sat her in her highchair, took the camera out, she knew what she had to do with the camera facing her, we sang to her, she took about 5 or so bites of the doughnut, started rubbing her eyes some 10 minutes after, went into slumberland till the next morning.

A happy birthday she had alright!

she had us at long before "hewwohhh" ...

2009-02-15T02:37:00.000-08:00

It never occured to me before this. Not when my gynae confirmed the date(s), not when she was born, not over the last 12 months (to the date, almost), not even yesterday. It really only just occured to me some moments back.

Some moments back, I only just realised how our lil girl was born in the month universally known as the month of love. Non-believers (of Valentine's Day) may well argue that every single day is and should be one's day of love. Not just that 14th day in the second month of the year. I myself do not practice and/or celebrate V-day. Back in school, there were the roses and cards and lil gifts, yes. But now, it really is just another day for us.

But that's touching on Valentine's Day. And now that you know we don't celebrate it, there won't be any telling of pretty lil 'romantic' gift or dinner or the likes to report here. It's Baby Z that I'll be mentioning here in this entry, following my 'just realised she's a love-month child' moment.

Love.

Born just 4 days short of becoming a leap year baby last year, our Baby Z has definitely filled our house and lives with a multitude of traits. To say that she's been the easiest of babies to care for isn't quite true. In fact, in a number of instances, she may just happen to be that bit more difficult to pacify and please than her big brother was at this age. But, with Baby Z, you can't not fall for her sweet ways. She's mastered the art of being manja to her advantage. None taught by us, I suppose it comes naturally to her, being a girl.

You can tell her to stop touching/pulling the things she shouldn't be touching - switches, drawer handles, chair legs - and instead of crying or protesting, often, she'd tilt her head one side and give us her wide grin. Determined, confident and sweet all at once. Love.

You jump off the chair when you notice she's 3 steps up the stairs and your heartbeat's racing with time. You call out to her and tell her to stop. To stop going up any further. She turns her cute lil tooshie 360 degrees, looks at you with her signature head tilt, does the Queen's wave and smiles. Just precious the way she does it. Love.

You stroll with her in the mall. Kind passers-by smile a bit too generously at you, you smile back but wonder why the abundance of smile from them. You look down at Baby Z and see the cause of the extra attention. Dressed almost always in feminine pink only, one leg is left happily dangling outside of her stroller and the other sitting prettily on the seat, if we're lucky, OR pulled up to her chest. Quite the acrobat she may be. Quite the pretty in pink doll she may be. But an attitude of sorts she definitely has. Love.

You have some music on. Or you enter a store and the music's playing. Almost immediately, she does this routine with her hands and wrists (mental note: better record this in camera before she passes this phase). It starts with any one hand's turning of the wrist and sometimes both hands together. At times too, a very mild but obvious enough head-banging will follow the wrist routine. That will be Baby Z appreciating the music, nevermind that her dance moves does not come with the slightest twinge of a smile. When she dances, she means business. Serious business, that is. Just moves, no smiles. Love.

You don't think about first words just yet. You walk into a shop, the shop person says "hello", you say "hello" right back. You walk into 2 other shops and the same pattern follows. You walk into the 4th shop and Baby Z says "hewwohhh". You, the shop person, the onlookers, Big Z and Daddy Z all stop and laugh in disbelief. Baby Z understood 'hello' and decided to partake in the greeting when she was just 5 mths old! "Hewwohh" then became her very first word. Love.

:: the signature head-tilt ::

Now, just under 2 weeks to her birthday (and 1st party), there's no doubting the love that we have for her. She's determined, confident, sweet, loving and funny all at once. And she definitely knows what she wants.

...............................................

How did your Valentine's Day go then?

Wordless Wednesday :: Boys + Toys ::

2009-01-27T08:57:00.000-08:00

:: mr grungy + mr preppy ::

:: the lone one ::

:: the fallen ones ::

gotta love little man's speak!

2009-01-21T06:19:00.000-08:00

some randomly-picked (read: randomly-recalled) mini conversations with the Big Z ...

.....................................................

Big Z : hey Mummy ... if you're 30, and Daddy is 30 too, how come you're not the same size?

me : (laughing and thinking up an answer)

Big Z : ahh ... i know. coz boys can be bigger than girls.

me : u'huh. you're right. that's why. (and then laughing still ...)

.................................

Big Z : okay Mummy, ill go downstairs and play and watch the movie (Transformers) first, then come up and sleep.

(hardly 15 minutes later, he came back up, looking all shy)

me : what's up? the movie's finished? how come you're up already?

Big Z : coz i think i miss you. i miss your face la, Mummy. so i came up.

me : (a hug i couldnt resist!)

........................................

Big Z has lots to say. well, no surprise there! often, i'd be too tired to have lengthy thought-provoking-provoked-by-a-5-year-old-no-less conversations with him. so, this came about once ...

me : hey Zarif ... you don't have to talk all the time, ok. and don't have to ask me too many things too.

Big Z : aahhh ... ok Mummy. but i cannot do that. i have to ask so many questions.

me : okay. how bout you ask me 2 questions - one in the day and one at night. and save the other questions for your teachers in school. how bout that??

Big Z : awww Mummiieeee!!

me : (nope, that didn't go down quite well with him .. didn't like my idea)

..................................................

Wordless Wednesday :: Caught in the Act! ::

2009-01-14T08:22:00.001-08:00

welcoming the new year ...

2009-01-06T22:46:00.000-08:00

today, the 7th January '09, Big Z started his new term in school. his second last term at CH before starting primary school next January. where did the years go??

how have your (your child's, rather) first days of school been so far?

today, the 7th January '09, also marks exactly seven Wednesdays away from Baby Z's first birthday. where did 2008 go??

party preparations are very much in progress at Big Lime studio here at home. a theme has been decided and as much as i can allow myself to, or rather, as much as the creative mode in me allows me to, i've plans to decorate and adorn the party set-up as well as party favours to the theme. much like how Big Z's parties have been previously. it won't be quite as big as his parties though, i don't think so. but we'll see.

our 2008 in pictures ...

2008-12-29T20:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, a lil glimpse is all you need ... to make a moment.

Or, to record a worthy-enough sort of entry in my blog. ;-)

:: Big Z celebrated his 5th birthday at Hong Kong Disneyland ::

:: soon after his 5th, he closed a significant chapter of his life -

goodbye Thomas, goodbye Island of Sodor ... hello Transformers! ::

:: Big Z aptly calls this transition period "transThomas" ... how's that for a 5 year old's wit? ::

:: Baby Patch + Baby Gap keep Baby Z nice and warm many days and nights; a theme of sorts seems to have evolved over the months as far as 'dressing' her up goes ... watch this space ::

:: our Baby Z who makes it clear she's her Daddy's girl - note that grip on the Daddy's tee! ::

:: our Baby Z who is interested (or distracted?) by one too many things at any one time ::

:: then there's the Daddy who travelled more than previous years, albeit to closer destinations than before ::

:: and last but not least, yours truly,

who's STILL struggling to lose the pregnancy weight, 10 months after delivery! ::

......................................................

how was your 2008? i take comfort knowing i have my loved ones to wake up to each day, to say goodnight to each night, to laugh and argue with, to be silly and serious with, to share many more years together. insyaAllah ...

on that note, have a very merry happy new year! may 2009 bring us all better days and nights, more highs and less lows. ;-)

: art three-ways : Wordless Wednesday #1

2008-12-23T23:52:00.000-08:00

seen this Wordless Wednesday posts floating around in some blogs. seeing as i'm not one of them efficient and frequent bloggers, and that it just happens to be Wednesday today, i thought i'd do my take on a Wordless Wednesday entry. my take sees a theme of sorts for each 'wordless photo' and entry. well, that's the plan at least. ;-)

so. here's the first entry then. feel free to add notes/comments on the photos below.

..........................................................

do tell if you decide to partake in your versions of a Wordless Wednesday entry. should be interesting. :-)

how strong do you think you really are?

2008-12-10T06:48:00.000-08:00

i went. i saw. i stayed composed. i met. i broke down. i recomposed self. i stayed. i said goodbye. i left. i cried again.

................................................

in many ways, i'm stronger than i imagine i could ever be. in many others, i crumble at the slightest twitch of circumstance.

he has always been this strong character in my life. i wouldn't say i've always been close to him personally, but if i had to pick say 5 of the closest cousins, he's without a doubt on that list of 5. so, seeing him sporting a new 'hairdo' and then hugging and kissing him forced me to be this emotionally-strong person. and then i had to utter some words to him as we hugged. and that just opened the dam for me. verbally, i apologized for not being in the know of his condition sooner. i apologized mainly though for having to see him in this condition. i broke down as i was picturing him on his worst of days undergoing his treatments. i broke down as i wondered how much stronger he must now be to face this new challenge. i broke down as after years of failed attempts, they (he and wife) finally have a child to call their own, albeit an adopted one. i broke down as the said-child is just the most adorable 2 year old boy with a vocabulary that matches a 4 year old, at the very least. i broke down as He is as maha berkuasa as He is brought them this child who remarkably really does resemble my cousin and his wife ... it's easy to forget they didn't make this child themselves. i broke down when he said "it's okay ... hey, i'm okay ...", when really, who was he kidding?

all of this spiralled around in my head as we hugged what was possibly the longest and tightest hugs between us. and then quickly i had to brush away these thoughts and almost literally suck back the tears that were coming out and wipe those that were already out.

................................................

i guess all these tests are, cliche as this will sound, reminders to all of us to always be weary of our choices in life, to embrace each day as they come, to fall down and quickly pick ourselves up again, because at the end of the day, we really only have each other's love, support and sincerity to make living that bit more simpler and manageable.

in my cousin, i realise now that i love him that much more than i ever thought i did. and in many ways, realising it even if in unfortunate circumstance as this, is still very precious. i may not be as strong as i think i am, yet still stronger than i ever have been.

being a mother, i strongly feel has a lot to do with this. and for that, i'm thankful. Alhamdulillah ...

of sibling love (and a mother's joy) ...

2008-12-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

Moments like these make it all worth the long days ... and nights.

Big Z picks a book to read on his own, nevermind that it's close to 11pm (!!).
Baby Z tries her best to get to her brother's book and to distract him, before finally settling for her toy.

"abua, abua, abuaaa ..." (that's abang in her speak)

:: the book was The Gingerbread Man ::

parting ways?

2008-11-27T22:38:00.000-08:00

this weekend, a part of me will be on display. if i should be so lucky, that same part of me could find its new home in some creative space somewhere, lovingly looked at and cared for everyday thereon. at worst, that part of me would make its way back to me till further offers and/or opportunities come up. meanwhile, this is me, this weekend then. well, that part of me.

the very creative and terribly enthusiastic people here have very kindly 'interviewed' me. just that on its own made my days and week ... and possibly days and weeks to come.

impacting one from afar ...

2008-11-08T16:18:00.000-08:00

for someone who almost never follows the drama that is today's political scene (in any country, i'd say), i found myself glued to the tv throughout the broadcast of the US election results. never have i watched so much CNN at my own will! lol

but tell me who was not moved by the speech that was so humble and real and 'accessible'? it really felt like he, Mr President-Elect Obama spoke to his friends and peers, rather than 'preaching' or presenting a stiff talk of sorts to the people of his country.

a couple of sentences in his speech stood out for me more than others ...

"There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how theyll make the mortgage, or pay their doctors bills, or save enough for college".

that to me, was very much reaching out to the ordinary neighbours and offering words of assurance and hope, having first identified and acknowledging the issue at hand. maybe because i am a parent myself now, and maybe too because since the arrival of Baby Z, my thoughts and concerns on the upbringing and provision of a good home, health and education is of upmost importance to me now, that this sentence in his speech stood out a bit more than others.

...

"And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way its been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand."

this one was like a promise of a better many days ahead. and who knew an innocent cartoon character would inspire Mr-(too-handsome-i-can't-seem-to-wipe-the-smirk-off-my-face-whenever-i-watch-him-or-read-on-him) President-Elect Obama so much? taking his cue from a certain builder (known fondly for his talking tractor, crane, cement mixer, snow mobile and their other friends), Mr Obama gave hope and promise to his people that they too can overcome whatever barriers previously built, whatever limitation to equality previously lived by and whatever dreams previously crushed. in three simple words, he once again gave much assurance to his now-moved-but-overly-joyed people; "yes we can".

...

i'm not an American, nor did i spend some time there in my tertiary education years, but i can imagine the pride as well as the humility the Americans must have felt and possibly still do at the outcome of the results. as an onlooker, who no doubt will benefit or otherwise from the election results (only coz the US is such a powerful nation to the rest of the world), i'm just thrilled for them and am hoping for only better years to come for all of us and all of our children too.

there's hope still. yes we can. insyaAllah ...

i'm done

2008-10-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

... seriously

but they'll still always be our lil ones, yes?

2008-09-23T00:31:00.000-07:00

Big Z now goes to the loo by himself. He wants no help from us and insists he's big enough to clean up after on his own. It's been this way since early this year, but with the occasional shout for help (to clean up) every now and again. But the past month, he's suddenly decided he's all very grown-up; goes to the bathroom, locks the door behind him, sings while busying himself on the throne (yes, one should not waste time not singing, just because one is occupied ;-)), flushes and then washes up. I on the other hand, will be the restless mom waiting outside the bathroom for him to come out all clean or to call me in to help. So far, it's always the former though. He comes out not only having cleaned down there, but so too his arms and legs and sometimes hair. He might as well take a shower after each session!

It's always been "pee" in our household (as opposed to "shee-shee" or "pee pee" or "kencing" - do excuse my lingo here for a minute). So, imagine my surprise when I heard him say as he walked hurriedly to the bathroom some 3 nites back "ohhh ... i really need to urinate now". "urinate" ... like seriously?? Even I don't use the word. It's good, yes, but wow ... I didn't see that coming.

...................................................

And Baby Z will turn 7 months day after tomorrow. SEVEN months??! Explains her very lip-smacking ways when she sees us eat. I guess a bigger meal portion for her should be seen to now.

a trip to the paed's ...

2008-09-15T21:32:00.000-07:00

The lil one isn't at her happiest and healthiest. After a restless and sleepless night, coupled by a bit of wheezing, we brought her in to her paed this morning. A quick check and the doc confirmed she's got acute bronchiolitis. The poor girl. According to her paed, it's contagious, so she must have contracted the virus from someone. The good news is, it's common apparently to have this, among babies and toddlers. on that note, the paed wasn't too worried and assured us it'l be fine with the given medication. The bad news is, she needs to be on the nebulizer twice a day for three days straight. it wasn't the most pleasant thing to watch your 6 month old baby experience. But Zayaan was quite the champ, not budging or crying till the last 5 minutes on the thing when she clearly had about enough of the mist blowing to her face the way that the nebulizer works. So, after breaking fast, dinner and prayers tonight, we'll be making our way to the ER at the hospital then for her treatment.

This is what she has, as per according to The Medical Dictionary:

Bronchiolitis is extremely common. It occurs most often in children between the ages of two and 24 months, with peak infection occurring between three and six months of age.Children who attend daycare or who live in crowded conditions and those who are exposed to second-hand smoke at home are more likely to develop bronchiolitis. Bronchiolitis is caused by several different viruses. The most common of these is respiratory syncytial virus (RVS), which is responsible for about 100,000 hospitalizations of children under age four each year. Two subtypes of RSV have been identified, one of which causes most of the severe bronchiolitis infections. In addition, bronchiolitis can be caused by influenza, parainfluenza, and adenoviruses, all of which are common from fall through spring. These viruses are spread in tiny drops of fluid from an infected person's nose and mouth through direct contact, such as shaking hands, or kissing. The viruses can also live several hours on countertops, toys, or used tissues and easily infect people who handle contaminated items. The time from infection to the appearance of symptoms varies from two to seven days.

Just referring to the above, we don't send Zayaan to any daycare centre, we're a family of four an it's just the four of us living in the house and both the Daddy nor i smoke, so she isn't at all exposed to second-hand smoke. But, we have been going out, meeting people, family and friends, even the chance 'contact' wit stangers at some local mall could have triggered this in her. On the one hand, it seems pretty unfair, but then again, as pointed out by a friend, we're humans after all; only so much you can do to prevent such things. Let's just hope this won't overstay their welcome in her lil body for much longer now.

never too young to be ambitious ...

2008-09-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

back in my school days (circa '85 to mid '90s) when we had to fill in those yearly school forms indicating our ambitions (3 to be precise), it was always 1.architect, 2. interior designer or kindergarten teacher and 3. housewife. that's right, yours truly was never really one with such great big ambitions and/or a taste for many things. i carefully picked my interest and narrowed it down. the second choice alternated between the years; one year i thought i'd give interior design a go, the next, the thought of surrounding myself with keen and innocent kids to teach in colourful environments that are preschools seemed very appealing. if choices 1 and 2 failed, i'd resort to being a housewife; a safe bet, and nevermind that i wasn't too big on the idea of getting married though ... but that'll have to be another blog entry.

now that i'm all of 30 years (ah yes, the big 3-0 greeted me nice and well on the 30th of last month), it's enlightening to see how even from the tender age of 7 to the not-so-tender-but-still-young-nevertheless age of 15, i had clearly seen 'housewife' as a job of sorts. an ambition and role noteworthy enough to be listed on such forms.

as it turns out, i obligingly met my list. the third option, no less, but that counts still to meeting my ambition, yes?

just a bit of background check here ... i did get myself into architecture school at uni, but having spent all of a semester there (that's right, shame on me!), i realised it wasn't really me after all. i could appreciate the field in itself, but i really couldn't see myself practicing it. i ended up graduating with a degree in Marketing Communications, something i had never thought i'd have an inkling towards, but as it turned out, was something i had a lot of passion for and considering (i wasn't your straight-As student in school), i did pretty well in uni with the degree. ok, but that wasn't my point. not quite at least.

...........................................

see, the past few days, Big Z has been asking me lots. as per usual, i guess. lol ... but this time it's been on ambitions and one's job. this conversation took place between him and i (and my dad).

we were watching my er DVDs one night ...

Big Z : so what are they doing there now? is the kid gonna be alright? is he still going to feel the pain?

me : no ... if they look after him well enough and he takes his medicine, he'll be well again

Big Z : oh, ok then. so that's the doctor's job, right? the kid's gonna be well coz the doctor is helping him, right?

me : yup, that's right. when you're not well, you see a doctor and he'll make u feel better, but u must take the medicine he gives you. ... do you like watching this? you like er?

Big Z : yes! i like it. i like it coz i see the kid not well and then he's well again. .... i think i want to do this la, Mummy.

me : do what? be a doctor?

Big Z : yes. so i can make people feel better.

me : ahh .. good. that's nice, Zarif.

Big Z : oh, but wait, Mummy! ... doctors ... do they have a lot of money??

me : hahahaha .. yes ... they'll have money, yes.

Big Z : ok. i think i can be a doctor then.

..............................................

at a later date, one night before going to bed ...

Big Z : hey Mummy ... what's Atok's job again?

me : ok ... what does Atok do? do you remember?

Big Z : yes! he built my house ... and his house ... and other houses too, right?

me : that's right. and offices and hotels and mosques too. he's an architect then .. he designs and builds buildings.

Big Z : whoa!! ... yes, architect. i forgot. ok ... what bout London? did he build London?

me : no ... (thinking by saying this i'd end conversation early ... how wrong i was!)

Big Z : what??!! he didn't?? .... awww Mummy ... you call Atok now, please. call! ask him why he didn't build London.

a quick sms to my dad relating this query from his grandson, my dad calls me up ...

Big Z : Atok ... why you didn't build London??!!

Atok : (in between laughs) i didn't build London .. but i DID design some buildings there .. some offices.

Big Z : whoaa!!! really?? ... hey Mummy .. he did laaaa!

me and Atok (on phone) : laughing at the enthusiasm that is the Big Z

Big Z : so did you build Thomasland too? in London?

Atok : no ... but i also designed some (buildings) in Maldives and Bangkok

Big Z : yea?? ... what land is Bangkok? is it Thomasland? (notice how Thomas is still his top priority in life! haha)

Atok : what land? Bangkok is Thai-land

me : (was containing my laugh at this point and my dad was already cracking up on the other end .. haha)

Big Z : heyyyy ... what land is that again?? (and then looks at me strangely, holding the phone away from his face a bit while giving me this look as if to say his granddad is mocking him ... haha)

a short while later, he ended the call with my dad.

Big Z : so ... can architect have money?

me : yea ... they can. you want to be an architect then?

Big Z : hmm ... okaayyyy .. but, i also want to be a train driver so i can drive my own train. but Mummy ... i build the tracks and the buildings too, and then i drive the train.

me : (trying hard to just be supportive and not laugh at 5 year old son's innocent ways) ok sweetie ... you do that then. what bout being a doctor?

Big Z : aawww man! ... so many things i have to do now.

lol

...........................................

that's my son then. makes me wonder what else he thinks about in his busy head.
going back to my own list of ambitions/jobs ... i wonder if he'll end up as a train driver, an architect or a doctor. any of those, none of those, or if he had it his way (his 5 year old way, that is), all of the three! haha ... though let's be real here .. i'm not sure how to react if my child ends up telling me he really truly wants to be a train driver, and nothing else. oh.dear!

6 months!

2008-08-27T00:07:00.000-07:00

almost as fast as Big Z turned 5 last week, Baby Z turned 6 months couple days ago. of course, really, technically speaking, that first sentence doesn't make sense, but you get where i'm going, yea?

if there's one word to describe Baby Z, it'll have to be 'big'. Baby Z really is rather on the 'big' side. them baby's growth progress charts you have on the medical record book thingy ... let's just say her dot to represent her growth since birth has always rocketed above the average line. she's both heavier and longer/taller than the average baby at her age.

:: month 0 - was only 2 weeks old here ::

:: month 1 ::

:: month 2 ::

:: month 3 ::

:: month 4 ::

:: month 5 ::

:: month 6 ::
................................

but with big (physical), comes big in personality too. baby Z has always appeared very alert and aware of her surroundings. this, something i'd observed from her 1st month. she'd notice and respond when you call out her name and at times will wriggle or kick her legs in approval and enthusiasm when you call out her full name. on that note, it's good to know she likes her name too. ;-) while rather shy and reserved with other people, at home, when it's just the four of us, she's full of laughter. and recently she's added some 'words' to her vocabulary too. i swear she's been trying to say "hello" and "alright" a few times now. hard to believe, yea? hehe. but both the Daddy and Big Z heard her attempts too on separate occasions. so, either it's true, or we're all very much disillusioned here. lol

at 6 months old, Baby Z's able to sit up unaided, though i still fear a tumble of sorts, so cushions around her are aplenty when placing her seated anywhere. she's also very much in love with her chubby lil hands and loves studying her fingers, bringing them up close to her eyes, and then away from her and back again to her eyes. putting her on her back for a change will see her roll over almost immediately and then getting stuck, not knowing quite how to roll back. there are times she rolls over and back again in lightning speed, but often it'll be just one way and then will kick away waiting for someone to come to her aid. quite an adorable sight, if i may be so bold to brag about here. ha-ha!

to date, there's no visible sign of any tooth making their debut in her cute lil mouth, but she does push her finger(s) in her mouth quite a bit; first with soothing happiness, then escalates into anger and annoyance. and i'm thinking: why push it so far in then, my dear?? Big Z never sucked his thumb or pushed fingers into his mouth. people say it's sign of teething, but Baby Z's been doing this since 4 months-ish and still, no sign of teeth .. so i'm taking it as purely habitual fun for her.

as mentioned above, she's rather pleasant and happy at home. her biggest smiles and laughs though are reserved for her big brother. all he needs to do is walk into a room she's in and those happy feet and legs will start kicking and dancing. the smile almost immediately too cracks up some comical laughter and soon both Zs will be laughing together. on a mommy's viewpoint ... watching such innocent joy from her kids just makes it (motherhood) all that much more worthwhile. i do wonder how their relationship will be over the years. there'll no doubt be the sibling squabbles, and i'm anticipating the bulk of such squabbles be when they're 7 and 2 respectively (if not sooner!). but generally, as a whole, i hope and pray that theirs (relationship) will be one filled with much love, care and respect for each other. i'd like to see how they'll defend each other at times when either one of them or both are caught (by the Daddy and/or myself) for some naughty lil act they've done.

:: laughing at her brother's antics ::

:: the closeness that is Big Z and Baby Z ::

..................................................

now that Baby Z's 6 months old, i'm reminding myself to start thinking up and preparing the necessary for her 1st birthday party. will there be a theme? of course! it's her first, and i'm going to go all out (budget permitting, naturally) with her 1st birthday. i already do have the theme and party favours in mind, but i haven't started making/preparing anything just yet.

and he's F.I.V.E.!!!

2008-08-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

you hear it often - "time flies", "has it been that many years already??!". true enough, time really did seem to fly past us. we now have a 5 year old son. how did that happen, ey??

.................................................

previous years, we celebrated Big Z's birthday with the whole commotion, excitement and tiredness that are big birthday parties.

held a month after moving into our own home, Big Z's 1st birthday party also served as a housewarming party. there was no theme that year, but i did have fun preparing favours for the kids. i bought plastic beach pails and filled them with toy cars for the boyss, lil girly accesories for the girls, plus some candy and a lil book for all.

his 2nd birthday was my first attempt at organising a themed party. theme was 'colours' and i had prizes for most colourful guests according to gender and age group. favours were packed into colourful wrapping paper folded into lunch bag type of bag.

my personal favourite was his 3rd party. 'polka dots in blues, greens and dark browns' was the theme. i had so much fun making the favours and invites, i don't mind doing it all over again! how's that for utter mommy madness? haha ...

:: favour bags, each 'polka-dotted' differently; filled with polka-dot DIY wall art kit, handmade doodle book amongst others ::

his 4th birthday saw a different venue. held at my parents', it was the first party i had incorporated games with lots of prizes to give away on top of the individual party favours i had already prepared for all kids. the theme was 'pyjama party in red, blue and white'.

:: favour bags filled with bedtime lotion, toothbrush + chocolate cookies ::

so when this year started, i was gearing up to prepare another themed party for him. turning 5 seemed a rather big deal to me. 4 is still all-too-cute and cuddly an age, but 5 to me, is like the start of a new lil man. 5 year olds are old enough to understand things better, to think for themselves (and often this comes with the consequence of having to put up with their countless of opinions on everything under the sun!) and to show more of what they'll possibly be like in the near years to come. so, while on the one hand, a party to plan and host promised some good fun on my part, i was equally keen on keeping it low-key; just within the family. having a new baby in the family was key to my final decision. it was decided then (with Big Z's approval, obviously!) that we keep it low this year, that Big Z would be celebrating his birthday with just the family. of course, there was also the birthday do he had in school (which the school does for all kids come their birthdays). but big themed party was not in the works at all. nope. not this year.

...................................................

his turning 5 started with the lil party held in school. nothing grand and big, it was just among his immediate class/group mates. the teacher narrated his life to date (as per my notes to her prior to the party date) as he performed the birthday walk to mark his 5 years. following this, the class sang to him and he cut the cake which was very simply decorated by yours truly. he then picked a book to be read to the class during storybook time and then party favours were distributed. short and sweet, enough to leave him happy and shy all the same.

:: favours for the boys ::

:: favours for the girls ::

............................................

three days before he actually turned 5, we had the family over for tea. both sides of the immediate family came and it was again, very simply organized. a bit of food to keep 'em tummies happy, bubbles for the kids, lots of toys from Big Z's ridiculously huge collection (of trains, mainly!) and a lot of running around and screaming was the scene for that day. again, it left him happy and satisfied with the celebration. this time round, we ordered a Thomas the Tank Engine cake since he's been asking for one and seeing as there was no theme to the 'party', a Thomas cake would fare well.

:: favours for the cousins; persoalized ::

...................................................

on his birthday, at precisely 1:36pm on Wednesday 20th August 2008 (incidentally, it was also a Wednesday on his actual birth date, 20th August 2003), Big Z was waiting for his fried noodles in Hong Kong Disneyland's Plaza Inn restaurant. that's right. at the very last minute, we decided to fly to Hong Kong for a quick holiday for our family of four. Disneyland was to be the highlight of the trip and that we were to visit the park on his birthday. so visit the park on his birthday we sure did. it was a 'no frills' holiday for us; we flew in, took each day as they came by with very little planning done for each day. relaxing to a certain extent and a good 6 days of spending quality time with only each other. Hong Kong was never a holiday destination i had wished for. never. but in that last minute of wanting to go away somewhere, i had budget, plus amusement for Big Z in mind. Hong Kong was the closest and cheapest. at the end of the trip, i asked Big Z if he'd like to come back to Hong Kong some time. his reply, "no Mummy .. enough of Hong Kong already. too many days in Hong Kong. it's someone else's turn now". lol ... fair enough, i suppose. and by 'someone', he really is referring to some other city/country.

:: Big Z + Baby Z on Main Street Hong Kong Disneyland ::

:: the happy 5 year old ::

..................................................

i still on occasion find it hard to believe my son's already 5 years old. as a baby, he wasn't the easiest to care for, for the simple reason that he only really wanted me. honestly, i pretty much did nothing else besides tending to his every need. social life was as good as none for me in his first year especially. but despite the lack of sleep, the abundance of stress and emotional challenges, i wouldn't trade it for anything else.

in Big Z, i not only have a boy to call my own, i now have a lil man to call my best friend (i'm his best friend too, by the way .. though it comes with lots of condition!). he amazes me with his innocent child-enthusiasm for life in general. his meticulous self when drawing trains and designing new tracks is inspiring too. his wit and sense of humour is just entertaining and his love for his family is what i'm most proud and thankful for. i'm looking forward to watching him grow more and to jot his coming antics, interests and pet peeves as he clocks in 5 more years and many many more to come.

mixed plate

2008-08-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

a bit on Big Z, a bit on Baby Z, a bit on the one responsible for giving birth to both Zs. haha ...

.............................

me : what's your number 1 favourite animal?

big Z : snakes!

me : eeeewwww ... why?

big Z : coz i like it!

me : k, what's your 2nd favourite animal?

big Z : oso snakes, Mummy...

me : ok ... your 3rd?

big Z : the killing snakes (u'huh ... coz the previous two snakes don't kill, i suppose?)

me : and what's at number 4 ?

big Z : the snakes again ... coz you know ... they don't live in our planet ... so i have to like them too ... they're on another planet, but they can be our friends too, Mummy. (ok ... now planets come into the equation too, i see)

me : and the 5th?

big Z : panda!!!

me : eh? no more snakes??

big Z : no ... enough already with the snakes, Mummiiieeee. it's panda's turn now.

me : haha ... why do you like pandas then?

big Z : coz it's funny, right? you know, like Kung Fu Panda. see ... funny!

me : haha ... and your 6th?

big Z : ohhhh Mummy! that's enough. only 5 times, ok.

me : hahahaha

.............................

and a lil question on Baby Z. any of you have babies or had babies on soy milk? Baby Z is now on soy formula as her previous milk caused her pretty bad eczema. since the switch of milk, her skin's improved but have we got ourselves quite a poop machine now! honestly, her poo has never been more foul than it is now that she's on soy. it's like everytime she takes a dump, it's for the whole week's consumption! haha.

.............................

for those interested in paintings, or possibly just like clicking on links from any one blog you're reading, do click on my 'patterned' blog for some latest paintings i've put up.

for the love of all things handmade ...

2008-07-21T05:06:00.000-07:00

i'm a fan of handmade crafty things. i love the creativity and sometimes imperfect look that can be seen through a handmade item. to me, that's part of the beauty of buying, making and/or owning a handmade piece. it's simply unique.

towards the latter part of my pregnancy with Baby Z, i 'stumbled upon my cousin's blog. crafty she is, alright! growing up though, i had never thought she'd be the crafty type. while i always knew she'd be good at writing and anything computer-related, crafting away wasn't something i had envision her to do. so it was a surprise of sorts when her blog revolved around her knitting hobby. before any of you think it's a grandma-esque type of hobby, think again. these days, it's all about embracing the art of handmade products. knitted items is no exception. it's altogether modern, cute and functional, i kid you not.

earlier in the week, i came home to discover a package had been mailed to me, but that i had to collect it from the local post office since i wasn't in when Mr Postman came ringing my doorbell. i knew it was a lil something from my cousin as she had emailed me telling me to look out for a gift she'd made. i was occupied with some many things over the week, so i only managed to collect the parcel on Friday.

i was prettily greeted by this thing of beauty. just look at it. isn't she pweee-teee?? :-)

:: her brilliant work of art; hand-knitted with love ::

my cousin attached a letter with the parcel. she explained how the gift was inspired by the lil things i had created and made for Baby Z's corner. she took the colours i used as her cue to knit the cardi, and i personally think she'd interpreted it so well. i absolutely love that bit of lime green injected in between the otherwise very-much-girly raspberry shades. just pretty, i say.

:: this lil piece of personalized art and origami cranes were the inspiration behind the cardi ::

so now that we've this piece of knitted wear in Baby Z's wardrobe, one would probably wonder when she'll actually use it, right? well, even before i read my cousin's letter, as soon as i opened the cardi, i was thinking how it'll enhance Baby Z's corner real well. just as a decorative piece of element. whether or not she actually wears it out isn't my priority. just having it in her posession i think is wonderful enough. reading the letter, turns out that was also my cousin's intention; that in the event Baby Z won't or can't ever get to wear the cardi, it'll be a perfect and pretty accent to her corner or nursery (yes, she's still in our room, a nursery she hasn't got one just yet).

:: how it'd look hung (though really, a much much prettier hanger should be used here .. heh) ::

..................................

oh, i got a lil something too myself. a tub of hand cream from the very uber-cool Lush store in London.
cream does smell great, dear. and thank you SO much for the lovely gifts. love them! :-)

got name?

2008-07-14T08:58:00.000-07:00

I had just finish feeding Baby Z and was just cuddling and playing with her when Big Z came into the picture.

Big Z : hey Zayaan ... hey Zayaan Atiyaaaa ... is that Zayaan's name, Mummy?

Me : yea, that's her name .. her full name's Zayaan Atiya Izmet Iskandar ... what's YOUR full name?

Big Z : Muhammad Zarif Izmet Iskandar ... right, Mummy?

Me : yup

Big Z : ok, what's your full name, Mummy?

Me : it's Sabidatul Mrika Hajeedar

Big Z : (pauses and smiles with startled expression in his eyes) ... hey ... but that's Atok's name, Mummy!! (looking startled and smirking this time finding it hard to believe his mom) ... and it's your name too??!!

Me : (laughs with him) yes, Zarif, that's Mummy's name .. my full name .. my full name has Atok's name too coz he's my Daddy.

Big Z : (can't quite wipe the smirk off his face) ... sigh ... oh, okayyyy Mummy (still not able to believe his mom completely)

......................................

I guess for Big Z, there's only one Hajeedar .. that's his Atok. So to hear that his Mummy has his Atok's name in her full name was just that bit difficult to grasp. After a bit of staring into space and singing, he resorted to "OK Mummy ... i think i'm going to sleep now ... i'm going to have my Iggy Arbuckle dream now ... OK ... good night Mummy, love you Mummy". And off he went to bed. That was about a quarter to 9pm. By far, the earliest he's gone to sleep! Maybe if I 'shock' him with such facts each night, he'll sleep as early as before 9pm. Heheh ...

he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me!!

2008-07-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

Big Z last night. Was telling him to stop playing. It was almost nine and he had to get to bed. This was his response.

"if you scold me, Mummy ... i'll go away. i'll go to all the hotels. everywhere! aalllllll the nice hotels only. and then you come with me".

Say what?

"yea, you come with me to aalllll the nice hotels coz i love you, Mummy .... much and much always".

Glad we got that sorted then! He'll take me with him on his hotel stays, but following him getting scolded by me for not behaving. ... Now for us to rope in the Daddy in this plan. LOL

know your mother tongue, my dear ...

2008-07-04T10:13:00.000-07:00

Big Z thinks in funny ways, I'm starting to think that. No wait, I most possibly knew that all this time, but humour me, why don't you? :-)

We generally converse in English to each other. Of course there are the Malay words thrown in between our sentences, but truth be told, it's pretty much English rest of the time for us. Big Z though has decided he should be fair and kind to the maids (once a week I borrow my mum's maid to help me with the housework; rest of the time, I'm THE chief maid at home ;-)) when he's something to say in front of or to the maid. The following were some things he said at different times; the ones I managed to overhear.

.................................

Big Z wanted some cold water ...

"Kakak, nak air cold please. Muhammad nak air cold please".

Firstly, note how he says 'cold water'. It becomes air cold, like one would say in Malay, air sejuk.

Secondly, when he uses a bit of Malay, he's suddenly Muhammad more than he is Zarif.

Big Z was lying next to Baby Z and I was trying to get him in the bathroom for his shower. The maid happened to be just outside the family room we were in at the time ...

"Oh Mummy ... wait just a little bit, ok. Jap je ...... Muhammad nak baring next to Zayaan. Just a lil bit, Mummy".

Again, the Muhammad name is put to use here.

.................................

It was his school's Open Day earlier this week. Had a chat with his teacher and while he's doing well in school overall (for which I'm very thankful and glad), once a week he has a one-to-one session with his teacher for Bahasa Malaysia. Says the teacher, she speaks to him in Malay, he replies in English. He understands Malay, but just thinks quicker and replies accurately in English.

:: Big Z showing me his school work at the Open Day

(more photos over on my Facebook page) ::

So there you have it. My Big Z who thinks he needs to use his first name when conversing in Malay. I just think it's interesting how he's chosen Muhammad to be the 'Malay' name and Zarif the 'English' name. LOL

Big Z speaks ...

2008-07-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

Big Z after finishing his sandwich.

Mummy : Zarif, did you wash your hands? ... I don't think so, I didn't hear the tap on.

Zarif : (ponders a bit, complete with index finger on his chin) Hmm ... No, I think so. Yes, I think already. Yes. I think.

Mummy: OK ... you didn't wash your hands. Go wash them now.

Zarif : OK. yea, I forgot, yea ... but don't tell Daddy, ok Mummy??

Yes, he is a lil afraid of the Daddy; with me, I can be screaming away, he thinks I'm still playing. *does he EVER take me seriously*

...................................

Zarif's been having a bit of a sorethroat and cough.

Zarif : (clears his throat quite a bit) Oh Mummy. See! Now I have to do the M, M, M. See, like this. (clears his throat again, this time shaking his head in disbelief)

He can be such a fuss pot and an old man at times!

a (short) tale of two siblings . . .

2008-06-17T02:15:00.000-07:00

This was us last weekend along Gurney Drive, Penang. Guess who was more keen to stay in the hotel room than take a night stroll. Guess whose patience was tested as a result of said first person. ;-)

Earlier that day, in the hotel room, this pair of siblings were enjoying each other's company. Well, one more than the other. See how the lil one shows her big brother she's not to be fussed and dolled over! Hehehe ...

a confession ...

2008-06-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

:: photo courtesy of apartmenttherapy.com ::

This florist. This road. Those cute red minivans. The matured buildings framing the picture.

A florist on Westbourne Grove, London.

Oh, I miss you (London) so!

........................................................

One of the things I enjoyed most back when I was in London was buying fresh flowers from such florists. It'll either be on a weekday, on my way back home from college/uni, making a stop at the Hammersmith's station (District Line exit) resident florist or my stop's (Stamford Brook) florist, OR it'll be on a Sunday morning stroll, getting my supply of fresh flowers from the florist set up at the corner of Stamford Brook road, a mere 3 minute stroll away from my front door. Sigh ... such bliss from life's simplest pleasures. Yet I miss it terribly and long to go back there again ... and again ... and again (with or without stops at florists), just so I can take in all that London has to offer me. Silly, simple me! :-)

Zayaan doing her thing ...

2008-06-07T16:38:00.000-07:00

There's also this lil girl's happy chatty self keeping us happy at home. It's all pretty happy with plenty of smiles until she had about enough of watching the Mummy record her, that is. Apologies for the dark image - I obviously didn't consider lighting at the time of recording the video.

"let me read this book now, Mummy ..."

2008-06-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

This book. He picked it up, sat next to me and started reading. He managed most of the words correctly on his own. It got me teary-eyed. My son is reading already. I am a happy mom now, just because. :-)

slowly but surely ...

2008-06-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

Couple nights back, while watching the TV, I decided to test Zarif's reading. Using his Thomas etch-a-sketch toy, I wrote simple words such as sun, run, hot, hop, ball, tall, fun, train, the, book, look. After these few words and him able to read them, he decided to test me. "OK Mummy. My turn now. I write, you do the reading". His words were friends, taste, tracks. I was amazed! He could spell these words and well, knew what they were too. Yey!

After I tested him with more words, he took his turn and wrote the amazing, info, menu. At this point, I was channel-hopping and checking on the programmes. The blue box came on the TV screen. If you guessed The Amazing Race was on at the time, yes, you're absolutely right! He had gotten them words from the blue info box. ;-)

He can read, a bit, yes. But the instant amazing appeared on the etch-a-sketch, it was a notch too advanced for me to believe. Hehe ...

the modern dad ...

2008-05-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

I never envisioned my husband to be the type. You know the type - the one who 'clocks in' to work anytime of the day really coz he works from home. And before you go "aaawww... how lucky you are to have him at the house", let me just paint you a clearer picture.

Yes, The Husband does work from home, he's his own start-up firm and is doing just fine exploring what he loves most - working for himself, servicing client's financial needs. Working from home - that simply translates into working anytime, all the time. There's no fixed working hours with him. It's 'work for as long as I'm up' kinda thing. What's good though is, he's taken quite a bit of responsibility in attending to the running errands part of our home - mainly the school run and the getting take-out food for us. Before Baby Z came along, I cooked a bit. Now, I cook so rarely, our pantry might as well be empty. I do the rest of the cleaning up around the house, and the cooking, when it happens. Haha.

Oooh, but I digress. This entry is about The Husband, not about me. Back to it then ...
In those typical mom-lit books that are ever-so-popular these days, often there's talk on moms managing school runs. Sometimes, lending a hand to fellow mommy friends in ferrying their kids as well. Car-pooling at its best, if you like. And then, in some of those said mom-lit books, there's one Daddy-cool who does the school run. Often, the portrayed Daddy-cool also just happens to be pretty darn hot for a Dad. So hot that the mommies 'secretly' outdo each other, in the hopes for even the slightest of glance from the Daddy-cool.

It's all fiction of course, but now that The Husband frequents Big Z's school more than I do, now that he does the school run, it would be rather amusing to have my other half as the Daddy-cool of the school run community. ;-)

It's a modern day tale then. Days when Daddies working from home, doing school runs and grocery shopping are common sights. I just hope, on my part personally, he won't take my place in attending morning brunches with my mommy friends. LOL.

before he turns 5 ...

2008-05-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

I realise i haven't done much updating on Big Z - not the way i used to before Baby Z came into our lives. It's the obvious really. The inevitable. You welcome a new baby, and suddenly your attention is split both ways, and many times, as much as you try to be the fair parent to both, often each child has his/her own agendas. So, it's not that i've abandoned spending time with Big Z, nor has it been that all I do is spend time with Baby Z. It's a balance that I've learned and still am grasping really to meet. One which entails me as equal as possible my time, my energy, my attention and my updates on both my lil ones, both my Zs. Any mother to more than one child I'm sure can relate to this. Well, at least, i'd like to believe there ARE those who can relate to this. There are, i suppose exceptional moms out there, who regardless of their herd size, still ace at managing their selves in between their respective young-lings. To those, many kudos to you! :-)

..........................................................

A quick update on Big Z then.

In just slightly over 3 months time, he'll be all of 5 years. FIVE years!! How did that happen??

He's showing more interest in books and reading and is able to read a bit better now. Again, let's not get overly excited, he still has a long way to go, but i'm pretty happy with where he is now in terms of his reading progress. His teacher has assured me once more that he's able to read sentences on his own now. Of course, at home, he favours me pampering him, thus shows me little of what he's capable of reading, but in school apparently, he's doing better. So that's a good start then.

He also has a keen interest in numbers - number puzzles as well as simple sums. He was working on some simple addition and subtraction sums the other night and wanted me to watch him while he worked out the sums. He was using his fingers to count and just watching him do that made me proud of him. To me, it was a whole other accomplishment, a new milestone for him and proof that my lil boy really is growing up.

Academic progress aside, Big Z is getting more familiar with the concept of male and female, boys and girls, and the attraction which could very well take place between the two species. That's right. He's at THAT age. Every now and then, i'll get remarks like so from him -

"I like Bob and Wendy. Together. Coz they'll kiss. Together!".
(that's Bob and Wendy from Bob the Builder)

"Hey Mummy ... I think I want to kiss Nakita. Coz she's a girl. And she's pretty and so cute!
So i think i want to kiss her. And then she kiss me too. Together!"
(Nakita's his classmate in school, and she really is pretty and cute, i must say ... hehe)

I related these statements to The Daddy. He laughed and said we should embrace it, knowing that our son is heading the right direction. Haha.

This time last year, I was busy preparing for Big Z's birthday party. To this day, I'm torn between his 3rd birthday party and his 4th birthday party as my personal favourite project. The 3rd was a polka-dot themed party, while the 4th was a pyjama party (for photos of the parties' details, check my other blog, http://mommylovespatterns.blogspot.com). I think I worked equally hard on both, but I spent much longer preparing for the pyjama party. After the party, and the tiredness that came with it, I remember telling many I had enough of themed parties and that I wouldn't be organising and hosting a party for Big Z this year. That was then. Now, as we're days to welcoming the month of June, just two months away from his 5th birthday, I'm undecided as to whether or not I should host a party for him. Of course, I'd need to be in super-efficient mode if I choose to have one for him. The realistic me is saying I won't be able to do it. The ambitious me though is saying there's this, and this and oooh ... what about this (!!) for the party theme. A dilemma I've put myself into, yes. I'll give myself till mid-June then to decide. In the event I DO decide on a party for him, it'll definitely be a much smaller one compared to all his parties thus far.

.........................................................

That's Big Z then (just 4 days away from our much-needed trip away from home), and a bit of me, and Baby Z and The Daddy thrown in too. :-)

always go with your instincts ...

2008-05-21T04:59:00.000-07:00

she came, she took, she has to go. she HAS to stop. no two ways to it.

am pissed, am shocked, am stressed and it isn't helping with my headache one bit.

i had my suspicsions, i felt uneasy.

my instincts were right then, my mind was dropping hints.

i allowed myself to be fooled once more. well, never again, thank you very much.

'coz SAHMs are humans too ...

2008-05-17T05:00:00.001-07:00

Being a full-time stay-home mom has its obvious perks - namely, being the first (and sometimes sole) witness to your child's key milestones. And just for that simple reason, I can't imagine myself ever going back to the 'true' working life.

Having said that ... humans as we are, I think full-time stay-home moms (especially those without maids, like yours truly) do need the occasional break from the constant no-break 'career' that they have. In light of the said break, I've 'dutifully' proposed to the husband that we reward ourselves (well, OK ... i pretty much told him I need to be rewarded and treated to) once a month. So, one night a month, we'll go out for dinner. Sans our two Zs. For now, we're dedicating a Friday night, once a month. It'll be our date night, if you like. It may sound cruel, but I like to think of it as more of a positive thing. Besides, it'll only be for (at the most) 4 hours - a long dinner, dinner and a movie or dinner and an after-dinner coffee session. Our Zs will be at either grandparents' while we pretend we're young and still dating each other. Haha.

So. Any suggestions where we should have our first Friday night date then?

reality check

2008-04-25T22:09:00.000-07:00

am too fat!

.................................

need to lose weight ...

need to push aside all temptations in the form of Starbucks and well, everything else really ...

need to look like i just had a baby, not about to have a baby ...

need to like what i see when facing the mirror ...

need to be able to wear wedding rings once again ...

need discipline ...

need more discipline ...

need to act fast ...

need to act extra fast as Big Z's having a ball calling his Mummy "a big and fat bear"!!

a fine Friday ... Alhamdulillah ...

2008-04-25T12:26:00.000-07:00

on the day this one turns exactly 2 months old (to the date - she was born 25.02.08) ...

this one attended his first Friday prayers at the mosque.

according to the Daddy, he did all the different praying positions, but after one particular sujud, decided to lie down on his back for a bit before resuming the standing position and joining the rest of the jemaah. LOL also, after each sujud, instead of just coming back up to stand, he'll jump up and stand, and depending on his own two feet's temperament, his new standing position may not necessarily be the same as in the previous rakaat's standing position. haha ...

ah well ... a start, i guess. he came back from the mosque feeling very pleased with himself and said "yea, see .. i'm a big boy now, i'm going to be 5 years old ... yes, but not now, only in 6 months time" (mind you, it's been 6 months to him since February! haha ... his birthday's in August btw)

at 8:40pm ...

2008-04-24T05:54:00.000-07:00

... she finally decided to call it a day. what an extra long day it was for her (for me too, as a result!). she woke up at 7 this morning and refused to nap even for half an hour today. has it been a tiring day then? oooh yea! i'd want to deny the possibility of it, but i think her not able to sleep could largely be caused by her missing her Daddy - Daddy was away whole of yesterday, last night, today and still is out now at a meeting with his UK business partner. truly a Daddy's girl this Z.A. is.

:: sleeping in Daddy's arms ::

today ...

2008-04-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

at 8 weeks 1 day old ...

Zayaan did her first roll over. She rolled from her back to her tummy, back to front. Big brother Zarif and I witnessed this.

I Googled 'rolling over' after witnessing Zayaan's lil move. This was what I got from babycenter.com ...

"Your baby may be able to kick himself over, from his tummy to his back, as early as age 2 to 3 months. It may take him until he's about 5 or 6 months to flip from back to front, though, because he needs stronger neck and arm muscles for that maneuver".

Based on that piece of finding then, I'd say, all the milk that Zayaan's been consuming thus far has clearly done some good in packing in those much needed muscles then. ;-) She really has grown a lot in the past month; so much so that some think she's already 4 or even 5 months. Eeek! I do hope she'll slow down a little; being a healthy above average size is fine, but let's not enter the overweight category, yea. The grandma (the husband's mum) has already called her 'Cik Lat' (hehehe...) last week upon meeting her chubby second grand-daughter.

:: our chubbikins :-) ::

a change would be good ...

2008-04-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

any thoughts on how best to create 3 different 'zones' in one room?
i'm looking at zone 1: makeshift nursery, zone 2: tv room and zone 3: workstation for Big Z.

i've seen many many lovely photos of homes prettily done up to serve the many different needs in any one family. some really are inspiring, they make me want to revamp the said-room immediately. but when i walk into the room and am greeted by the lot that is Big Z's things and mine all thrown in together, it turns me off. and then i go online, and such lovely eye-candy sites such as Nesting of Cookie magazine, Apartment Therapy, decor8, Design Sponge and the likes of them urges me to tidy up, reaarange, reorganize and simply make-over a room. to my own ability, that is - nothing comparable to what you'd see on the above sites.

so. my problem is this. we spend a lot of time downstairs, leaving the family area upstairs pretty much redundant for now. the room downstairs on the other hand, is doing much too much over-time work. as you can imagine, at the end of the day, it's very much an eyesore of a room. too many activities going on in one large(well, large-ish la) room. what i need (as a solution of sorts), is for the room to function three-ways, yet still remain as tidy as possible.

so. what say you?

starter reader (speller)

2008-04-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

the following took place tonight after dinner ...

Big Z clicked open an Internet Explorer window, which automatically opened up Google and then typed in 'thomas and friends'. i was pleasantly surprised. granted, it was (yet another) round of Thomas, but yea, the Mummy had a bit of a thrill and a 'proud of son' moment just now. i already know he can spell, recognize and read the word 'Thomas', occasionally able to read 'and' (yea, i know ... that should have come first, right?), but that was the first time he had typed out 'friends', able to spell it correctly. his favourite 3 words then - thomas and friends - and complete with spaces between the words. am now happy because, though it isn't much at all, at least, i now know he can spell something else besides his name, Thomas, James, Percy, Gordon, Emily, Edward and zoo. LOL am also happy because he knows to space out the words and identifying the spacebar as the key to space them out.

he'll be 5 in august. i'm so eager to see him able to read a complete sentence on his own. and not just by memory of the story. he does this at times, but i know that it's purely from memory, not exactly him reading the words one by one.

tell me, at what age should kids be starting to read? (if he can spell - albeit his favourite words - he should technically know how to read too, yes?) and at what point should a parent start to worry?

the one with no title simply coz i can't think of one!

2008-04-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

growing up, i was always told i look a lot like my dad. we both have curly hair, both have a mole above our lips, both sport large ears (good luck ke? heard some Chinese seem to think so ... Ling? what say you?), have the same face shape, have dark skin and share the same eyes. i was also close to him in that i'd fall ill each time he went away for work, and according to my mum, the minute he's back in the country, i'll be my healthy self again. i used to also put everyone's safety in the car in jeopardy as i'd insist on sitting on my dad when he drove (back when infant and toddler carseats were very much scarce, i gather). i'm the one (among my siblings) who can tolerate his jokes and his funny ways. i've the most patience when it comes to entertaining his crude jokes and ideas. we too love taking drives looking at buildings and houses, much to everyone else's annoyance.

with my mum on the other hand, we share a lot of interests. there's the love for a certain European city, our eye for detail and nitpicky ways on many many things, especially tidiness and the arrangement of things (Ms M ... see where i got it from now? ;-) and my mum got it from her dad). we both love crafting and making things, especially as gifts. but while she's good with the needle and thread, fabrics and paper crafts, i'm much more at home with a pen and paper, some paints and canvas or Illustrator and Paint. salads, fruits, bread and desserts are our staple diet ... if we so choose to have them everyday and at each meal. we aren't big on meat. we drink tea more than necessary and trips to cafes for that cuppa tea is always a welcoming treat. my fondest memory with my mum will always be the trips she made up to London throughout the 7 years i was there. how i'd look forward to her visit and rush back from my classes just so i could have a meal, a tea session, a shopping spree, a walk in the park, a movie treat or even just a bus ride with her. those were my special alone times with her and i think a significant part of why i miss London so much is because of this. present day, our special alone times take place in her crafting room at the house as well as at the local malls - BV sees our faces much too much, i'd say. haha. with my mum, i talk to, laugh and argue with and cry to. and they can all take place within the same hour - any given day.

to sum up, i need and love both parents just as much. from each, a different sort of advice, laugh, comfort is received. to each, a different sort of love is given. but always equal, never one more than the other. now that i'm older though, a few have commented i'm looking more like my mum.

so that is me as a child, the middle child, the second and youngest daughter to my parents.

.............................

this, now, is me as a parent, the mother to the two Zs.

when Big Z was born, looking at him anyone and everyone remarked how he was very much a carbon copy of the Daddy. didn't resemble me at all. i saw that too, though i kept staring hard trying to find some little hint of me in his features. what was clear though, was his temper. it was all me. he was such a cranky and clingy baby. everything seemed to have bothered him, and he only wanted me, the Mummy, to attend to him. if we're lucky, he'd give in to the Daddy. hearing him scream and throw a tantrum was the way of life for us for a good year plus. happy to note, he's grown out of his temper-temper self and is now a real chatty and generally very happy boy. as a baby and toddler, i was very much the same - wanting only my mum and/or dad and i'd scream at anyone else who'd take me or even just glance my way. he has certain habits which reminds me of myself - they way he picks out 'foreign' bits of food in his meal, i do the same; the way he arranges and rearranges his things (books and trains), i do the same with my things and often our arrangements may not be the most logical but it works for us; how we can only do our #2 in our own homes and then some other odd habits which i can't seem to recall now. there is also his interest in colours, art, books and hotel-stays which i too love. his diplomatic ways and chatty self though i'd very much say he takes after his Daddy. i'm chatty, yes, but it really depends on the crowd i'm in. the Daddy on the other hand can create lengthy conversations with anyone and everyone!

and then there's Baby Z. when the nurse placed her on my chest just moments after she was born, i saw another Big Z. it was all Big Z all over again, i was thinking. they looked so alike at birth, they're like twins, only born 5 years apart. now that she's almost 2 months old, her features are shaping up more and once again, she seems to take after the Daddy, physically. there's the obvious face shape, for one. and the mouth with the arched lips. if there's any trace of me in her, i'd say it'll be the pair of deep-set eyes and the chin perhaps. different from her brother was as a baby, Baby Z is a calmer baby. she smiles more than the brother did before (at this age), and she's even given us her share of giggles (both while awake and in deep sleep). even this early on, i can't help but wonder what her personality and interests would be.

they say "mummy's boy, daddy's girl". well, for now, it's "mummy's boy" alright in terms of our (mine and Big Z's) temperaments and eccentric OCD ways. and it sure is "daddy's girl" too as far as her (Baby Z) looks and her manja-ness towards him are concerned.

...........................

let's see what the coming days, weeks, months and years bring us ...
naturally, i shall only pray that mine (children) will turn out well and guided in the right direction at all times. InsyaAllah ... (even if they all look only like the Daddy and all have strange habits picked up from the Mummy ... so long as they don't harm people along the way ;-))

...........................

so. now that you've reached this point, any suggestions for this entry's title then? :-)

almost a 'free' mom ...

2008-04-07T13:33:00.000-07:00

seems like i haven't blogged as much as i used to, and as much as i'd like to.

reason for the lack of blogging lately is simpy coz i've ran out of ideas on what to blog. each time i set myself with the lappie and open the blogger site, i just stare at the screen a bit and then open another site on the very window. the only topics i can think of to write on is my lil girl and her big brother. and then i'm reminded that blog-hoppers have probably had enough of reading on moms adjusting to life with a new baby in the house. after all, how much of sleepless night (and days!), changing diapers (and onesies, and the mum's top, and the cotlinen and the parents' bedlinen ... you get the picture), bottle warming, formula mixing, lullabying does one need to read? or, how much of a 4 year old's antics does one need to laugh at or worry over? it all sounds pretty similar if not, frighteningly (or, reassuringly) identical from one mom's experience to another's. that's what i'm reminded of then. but it won't stop me from writing my own share of momsie adventures. ;-) so here goes ...

.........................

the lil one is now 43 days old. in the Malay culture, for those who strictly follow its (culture) confinement rules, i'm officially a day away from completing the confinement period. this means, come end of tomorrow, i shall be a 'free' mom once again. free to roam the streets (or in lovely hot weather KL, roam the malls ... heh!), free to eat as i wish to (still a good idea to go slow on spicy and sweet stuff), free to kick off my socks, free to 'unleash' my abdominal area from the bengkung (though wearing it more can only do good in the kempis-perut department ;-)). yes ... i've all these things to look forward to. yippie! right? yea, one would think so.

the reality though is that i'm suddenly overwhelmed by the whole "i'm a mom to 2 kids now, thus having more responsibilities to attend to". i'm realising now that i'm not quite ready to ferry around 2 kids in public. in many ways, i think i was better prepared to go public after my confinement period with Big Z. this time though, i'm anxious. much too anxious, to be honest. maybe coz i've not just a baby to see to, but an active 4 year old too. maybe coz after 4 years, i'm not the most natural and most competent mom when it comes to feeding, burping, carrying and rocking a new baby. maybe coz i've been pampered to a certain extent by the Zs' Daddy - he's been able to rock and sleep Baby Z better than i have been, truth be told. it's all of this that is making me not jump off my seat in excitement to actually officially end my confinement period. but how long can one really stay at home before the sanity of said-one person goes a wee bit rocky? so, i shall do it. small steps should do it, yes? maybe a treat for myself to begin with (always finding reason to reward self ... haha). a haircut maybe? or a manicure and pedicure?or perhaps some new clothes? ;-)

.........................

Big Z has started school again. he was off for 2 weeks and what a Big Z-filled 2 weeks it was!! he just has much too much energy this boy. from the minute he wakes up (and wakes up early he does, even during his holidays and at weekends!), there's no shutting him up really. from all sorts of stories, comments, questions to renditions of TOO many songs, the house was far from quiet this past 2 weeks. he had also created his Island(s) of Sodor in every room in the house (minus the kitchen, the utility and the bathrooms ... thank god!). he drew many many pictures of his favourite island - some very sparse, some filled with trains and tracks, lots of trees, clouds, rainbows, flowers, apples and passengers too. he practiced his reading a bit and can now read some simple words - yey! but still needs a lot of practice.

his over-excited self caused not one, but TWO accidents at home - he missed a step at the stairs - left a good bruise on his leg and just 2 nights before going back to school, had a nasty cut just below his left eye ... literally JUST BELOW (much to the Daddy's and Mummy's horror!!). the said-cut, courtesy of him creating his Island of Sodor on the floor and extending the island onto the TV cabinet! he was leaping his trains off the cabinet to the floor repeatedly when an error of judgement left him knocking the corner of the cabinet. i was in the shower when i heard the loud cry. the Daddy and i can't stop thinking how lucky he is to have just, only just missed his eye. i dare not even think of the consequences had it been the eye itself which took the knock. sigh ... they say accidents happen a lot at home ... well, two is more than plenty for us to handle.

today, he came back giving us a report of what he did in school - "cutting some stuff ... reading in library, but i did not block Aunty Carol's way" (he must have blocked his teacher's path once before .. haha), Mandarin (and then said some Mandarin words the Mummy obviously doesn't know) ... satu, dua, tiga, empat, lima - only lima Mummy, and then Aunty Carol stopped ... looked for insects in the garden, but i think it was too hot so the insects were hiding from me (haha!) ... and then i had fried rice, but tomorrow i think we eat pasta (always thinking about food, this one) ... and then mata, hidung, kaki, rambut, and then i don't know coz it's time to go home already ... zarif .... your Daddy's here (he mimicked one of the teachers there .. heheh)". a full report you can get from him if he so wishes to tell you. :-)

........................

so that's me then. and the 2 Zs and the Daddy (more like making cameo appearances in this blog .. haha). till the next round of our unpatterned days then ...

:: here's the Big Z and his cut under the eye ::

:: here's the Baby Z - "i dont sleep - NOBODY sleeps!" - you don't say! ::

* Ling, this one's for you ... you mintak, you dapat ... hehe

the little helper on his break ...

2008-03-26T20:48:00.000-07:00

it's Easter and Spring break for Big Z now. which means 2 weeks off from school. it's now day 4 of his school holidays (day 6 if you count Saturday and Sunday). i had completely forgotten about this school break of his. so on Friday last, he and his Daddy made their way to school as per normal, only for them to return home 10 minutes later. they were met by locked school gates. only then did i check his school calendar; 2 weeks off school. so THAT'S how 'attentive' i've been ever since a lil someone entered our lives. they say as you progress through each pregnancy and each baby, you tend to grow a little more forgetful. eeek!! so, not wanting to take anymore risks, i think we'll just stop at 2 kids. i dread to think how much more forgetful and absent-minded i can get otherwise. heheh ...

i would love to say i've done some good productive educational activities with Big Z this week. you know, the 'it's school holidays, let's do something fun and educational with the kids' sort of activities. sad to say, i've done nothing of the sort. no clever crafts, no educational experiments. if at all, the most we've done together is care for Baby Z.
like this morning. daily routine ... get her bath ready, nurse her a bit, then wait for her to poo, clean her up, then give her a nice thorough bath. all was well until i felt this strange warm sensation on my legs. she dozed off on me while drinking and decided to poo more than necessary! that warm sensation was her poo. the diaper could only hold in so much, leaving the rest flowing out of the diaper, through her onesie, through her blanket and onto my pants!! it was a mess, needless to say. but fear not. Big Z was quick to offer his assistance. it was tissues (granted, not quite passed to me, more like thrown to me in all haste and panic), the bin, the towel and then his signature singing to Baby Z. to soothe her, he says. though really, she was all calm and soothed. it was the Mummy who needed the calming and the soothing. haha ... after the whole chaos, i bathed her, dressed her, wrapped her in another blankie and then had my own express shower. while in the shower, i heard her making a fuss - she hates having her hands all wrapped up. i got out of the shower, Big Z said he's making her feel better coz he sang to her already. ahh .. but of course. the instant i picked her up, cradling her in my arms, she went into her slumber. this was 2 hours ago ... she's still fast asleep now.

so, in this 2 weeks of Big Z's holidays, if nothing at all, he can always say he learn to help calm Mummy down by throwing tissues and the bin and the towel when his adik made a mess. he can also say he drew many more versions of his Island of Sodor. yes, drawing those much-loved trains on their island he still does a lot of. i just haven't had the time to scan and save them.

his next school break will be in June. this time, i'm already aware of it though, so he won't be the keen student facing his school's locked gate come the holidays. ;-)

Zayaan ...

2008-03-25T07:11:00.000-07:00

is one month old today

makes the fussiest of fuss and noisiest of noise everytime she stretches, yawns and/or passes wind

drinks A LOT!

eagerly 'grabs' hold of the bottle when she sees it

is fast filling up her 'new baby' onesies and sleepsuits

can sleep for hours in her Daddy's arms

doesn't mind having a bath or a wipe-down, but hates the putting on clothes part

smiles in her sleep mostly; but even so, a very quick smirk of a smile

is starting to develop her own character and doesn't look all that identical to Zarif as I had initially thought

.............................................

and this, 5 years ago (well, almost), was Zarif 'grabbing' his bottle ... but much earlier, at 4 days old.

3 weeks on ...

2008-03-18T06:28:00.000-07:00

... or 22 days to be exact.
That's how old Baby Z is.

:: this is her at 2 weeks-plus ::

Let's do a lil progress report of sorts on her now, shall we?
While she's generally known as Baby Z and/or Lil Z (esp in text messages), most call her Zayaan. My dad, my brother and his wife call her Atiya. The Daddy calls her Zai and I occasionally call her Tia. It's not like it really matters what we call her at this stage, I suppose. Even with her eyes wide open and staring at us while we call out her name(s), she does nothing more than just continue staring at us with her deep-set eyes and her little pout. :-)

At her last check-up (at 2-weeks old), she had already gained all of 0.23kg. Woo-hoo! Am not sure myself how good or bad such a weight-gain is, but according to her paed, she's growing well, so that's good news on our part then. I'm guessing she's put on more weight since the check-up.

Speaking of weight-gain, I really am reminded (not particularly to my fondness though) how tiring feeding an infant can get. And by feeding, I'm referring solely to the motherly act of breastfeeding. It's only been 3 weeks, and already I'm wondering how much longer I should be nursing her. Part of me, a rather big part of me let's say, is conscious of the fact that I kind of over-nursed my firstborn. Big Z was through and through a mommy's-milk-boy for a good 2 1/2 years!! Was it tiring? Oooh yeah! Will I want to nurse Baby Z just as long? I'm saying a great big "NO!!!". I'm making it my very own self-appointed duty to see that she takes both her Mummy's goodness and that of formula milk. Almost immediately, she accepted formula milk, which was such a relief. I know, I know ... some of you moms reading this may well be shaking your heads in disapproval, but at the end of the day, I know I DO NOT want to repeat what I did with Big Z. Big Z has turned out healthy and active a 4 year old, for which I'm truly thankful ... Alhamdulillah ... but, it's the personal physical issues which I'm not quite willing to go through a second time. The part where my 'milk-hubs' are almost always at his disposal, regardless of where we may be. This means that going out to malls, to a friend's or family member's house, in the car even ... when he cries and demands a feed, I simply had to oblige. Sure, it helps a great deal in that there is no need for bottles, no need for searching the supermarket shelves for the right formula milk, no need for packing enough supply each time we leave the house. Sure too, there's all the health benefits and extra closeness and bonding between mother and child, but seriously, SEE-RIOUS-LEEE, it does get a bit too invasive almost (though 'invasive' may seem too cruel a word, in this context).

Tell me there's at least one of you out there who share my thoughts on breastfeeding ... that while on the one hand we acknowledge and accept all the positives that come with it, there's also the negatives which in some ways outweigh the positives and as a result, draw us to limit the nursing and increase the formula intake instead. Yes? No? Anyone of you? Anyone at all share my sentiment here? Otherwise, I shall just quietly deal with my bad mothering where feeding my child is concerned.

So. What I've done now is to nurse her during most feeding times and then the rest of the time, she'll take the formula. Roughly, it's a 1-part formula feed, 2-parts mommy's goodness. And as mentioned earlier, she seems to take in the formula just as well as she does my milk, and is very comfortable with bottles too. With Big Z, not only did he only want my milk, he wanted it straight from the milk-hubs themselves! Would refuse all milk transfered into bottles. A real fuss-pot he was!

Feeding aside, I've tried my very best to do the whole confinement, pantang thing. Am very much still in the pantang period, but has to be said, I've broken the rules of pantang already. Not proud of it ... shame on me! I attended not one, but TWO birthday parties over the last weekend. One was Big Z's classmate's birthday party, his best friend's birthday, as it turns out, so I was pretty keen he (and I too .. haha!) attend. Just to make things 'easier', they live in the same condo as my inlaws, so after hanging out at the party a bit, I excused myself, left Big Z there and went up to rest and continue the pantang at my inlaws apartment unit. Not too bad la, yes? Hehe... And then on Sunday, I attended the other birthday party. This time, it was my nephew's birthday and was held at my parents', so I left my house and 'did' the pantang at my parents' that day. ;-)

While going out I have definitely done, though only to hospitals for follow-up check-ups and to both parents' and inlaws', I've been having my urut sessions daily (well, minus the weekends) and been making sure I take lots of water, have my socks on practically 24/7 and have the tightest of tight-eee-ness bengkung on for a good 7 hours daily. Hmm .. Fair enough, not good at all la. Only 7 hours a day??! What good will 7 hours do, right? But, I must say, it makes eating a whole lot trickier having this bengkung wrap you up. Am still nowhere close to a fine flat tummy and narrow hips, but according to the makcik urut, I've gone down quite a bit already since the first day she started urut-ing me, and I can already get into my pre-pregnancy jeans, so yey! Am happy for now. :-)

So it's 3 weeks down, another 2 weeks and a bit till the end of my confinement period. And then I shall be a free woman! A free mom! A free mom who's already worried and anxious about going out with her new baby for the first time. Well, I'm sure my first official post-confinement trip out with Zayaan will be with the Daddy and Big Z too, so I won't be on my own anyway. But regardless, I still see myself being the awkward 'new' mom out with new baby. It'll be going out with plenty more than just my little bits of things which normally sit in my handbags, plus a couple of trains for Big Z. Now, on top of those things and a couple of trains, there'll be diapers, a changing mat, wipes, plastic bags (for soiled diapers and wipes), bottles, this, that and then somemore. Oh dear. THAT - the lugging around a big heavy bag of all sorts of baby things, which if you don't pack, you'll be cursing at yourself for not being efficient enough at packing, and if you do pack, you'll only wonder why you even bothered packing something which really wasn't all that necessary to have a spot in the diaper bag. Ahh ... such joys of motherhood.

On that very apt note, I shall leave you with this.

A quick bit on Big Z.
He had a school trip to our Butterfly and Orchid Farm in Lake Gardens yesterday. Their current culture topic in school is on 'Plants and Insects', hence the visit to them parks. Anyway ... he not only came home saying it was much better than our zoo since he's very much taken a hatred to our zoo, simply because the toilets are too dirty and smelly (which i truly believe him), he also brought home a pot of orchids from the park. Apparently each child brought home one ... must applaud the orchid people for their extreme generosity there. Orchids aren't exactly cheap, are they? He was also very excited and proud to tell me what our national flower is. For those who aren't aware, like I was, our national flower could well be something we'd one day snack on, coz according to Big Z, "it's the hi-biscuits ... the Malaysia flower, Mummy. ... it's big and red and it's called the hi-biscuits. you know, like what we eat, like biscuits!". LOL.

the 1st week ...

2008-03-03T19:29:00.000-08:00

She's just over a week old now. Can't believe it's been a week already.

Having her in our lives has changed things around quite a bit here at Big Lime. There's the obvious new resident in the house, the little cries (she has this kitten-like whispery sort of cry) when she's just waking up, the loud cries when she's too hungry and waiting for milk is pure torture on her part, the diaper-changing, rubbish bag throwing (bins are now emptied so frequently, I'd need to get more plastic bags very soon), bottle-washing, milk-expressing, crib-rocking, Big Z singing lullabies (as opposed to Thomas & Friends and/or My Chemical Romance songs!) and then some more. As tiring as my eyebags are proving this whole new change in daily routine is turning out to be, it's all equally fun and too-good-to-be-true sort of feeling.

Still very early days, but has to be said, looking after Baby Z is definitely less tiring than looking after Big Z as a baby. Big Z would just park himself on me throughout the day, leaving me with nothing else to do but to just hold on to him really. He'd wail each time I placed him in his cot, but so long as he's all snug in my arms or the Daddy's, he'd sleep well. Baby Z on the other hand, is much easier. Feed and burp her, cuddle her a bit, put her in her crib and she'll put herself to sleep soon after. Gives me the time to see to my laundry, lunch for myself and Big Z, and other bits of work around the house. Oh, and updating of blogs. :-) This easy pattern she's got herself into only applies during the day though. At night, it's a whole other story! Wakes up every other hour and after feeding, takes a lot of rocking and coaxing and pleading (by us parents) to get her to sleep. Not the most welcoming 'task' at 2am, 3am, 4am and 5am, I'd say. But last night, was the first manageable night. Woke up twice for feeds and a change and then went back to sleep but not so immediate as if during the day. Let's see what tonight brings us.

:: having her bit of morning sun by the window ::

come see who's entered our lives ...

2008-02-28T19:56:00.000-08:00

as promised some time back, here are some photos on the little corners i've created for Baby Z. having seen these photos now, you'll realise that really, it's pretty plain. there wasn't really a specific theme running through the decorating side of it, but if one had to pinpoint to a theme of sorts, i suppose it'll be the colours used. kept it to shades of pink, orange, rust and white. more or less.

:: the nursery corner in the room downstairs (this was taken a while back, crib now has white linen with a burst of colour in the form of the yellow pillowcase i had adorned earlier) ::

:: the changing table, that's really my dresser - this, in our bedroom upstairs ::

:: home-printed origami papers, home-made-and-assembled origami cranes - these hang (rather pathetically .. haha) by the changing table ::

all of this for the lil girl who arrived safely (after a painful 9 hour labour though) at 10:23am, Monday 25th February 2008. her birth weight was 3.07kg and length 49cm. the lil girl who parked herself snugly in me for 9 months plus, who left me rushing to the loo a lot at all hours, who left me forgetting how to walk properly, who made me crave all things spicy (Thai food especially!), plenty of Caesar salad and lots and lots of juice (orange and lime).

but put aside the discomfort and unattractiveness that came with carrying the lil girl, the instant i laid eyes on her, it all made sense. she was worth the wait and all the pain. she's here with us now, and she's the one we've named Zayaan Atiya. both names of Arabic origin, Zayaan means something beautiful and Aitya means gift. 'beauty' is no doubt subjective, but any given child, especially when you carry him/her yourself, is that bit more beautiful, just because. :-) after a considerable age gap between Big Z and Baby Z, having her with us is indeed a 'gift' of sorts. we see it as Allah's special gift to us (well, obviously after his first big gift, Big Z ;-)).

so, that pretty much sums up the 'story' behind us choosing her name.

:: we mostly call her by this name, though i try to use both names too ::

and this, my dear readers, is her. our 'beautiful gift (from Allah)'. :-)

counting the hours now ...

2008-02-22T17:00:00.001-08:00

It's happening. Soon enough.

InsyaAllah, by Monday afternoon, I'll officially be mom to 2 kids.

On my checklist now ...

my hospital bag : ready, but need to get me some gossip-y mags
Big Z's and the Daddy's bag for stay at my parents' : ready, but oooh.. better make sure there's enough trains and books for the Big Z
house swept and mopped : done, but may just do another round of it tomorrow morning
Baby Z.A.'s crib and cot : both dressed up ... just needs her to occupy the space now :-)

The plan today is to make sure house is in order (as much of an order as possible, that is) before I actually leave for the hospital. The last thing I need is to come home in 3 days time to a madhouse. Not too good for the stress level, I'd say.

Aside from housekeeping, there's also the plan to eat all I can today before I dutifully enter my confinement period. Confinement period, specifically the diet part of it ... hmm ... that'll be one to watch. Wish me luck! Especially when I know very well what naughty food stuff I've got stored in our 'pantry'. Much discipline would be needed on my part, no doubt. ;-)

Till my next updates ...

"look at my Island of Sodor, Mummy" ...

2008-02-19T19:19:00.000-08:00

:: click on photo for bigger, sharper view ::

How's that for a take on the Island of Sodor? Big Z's drawing of his beloved train characters on their island.

There's Thomas - the number 1 engine, Henry - number 3, Gordon - the longer and bigger number 4 engine, Edward, James, Percy, Diesel 10, Oliver, some trucks and another red engine I can't seem to identify. Oh, there's also Cranky the Crane in the top left hand corner of the picture. Framing the picture is Big Z's version of railway tracks (in blue).

Just to 'pretty up' the picture a bit, he included a rainbow (you can just about see it above Thomas) and some fruit trees (says they're apples, oranges and some flower trees). And that big black scribbly patch - well, says Big Z "that's the stormy weather coming, Mummy". And with that last bit of explanation, he decided to call it a night. That was his last bit of detail in the drawing.

the home library ...

2008-02-17T20:51:00.000-08:00

some of the prefered books here at Big Lime. these would be the popular choice(s) when Big Z volunteers a break of sorts from his Thomas and Friends books.

i find this series, "How Do Dinosaurs ...." by Jane Yolen and Mark Teague has just the right sort of balance as far as kids books are concerned. just the right amount of humour, storyline and moral, matched quite prettily with the illustrations. at the same time, kids are exposed to the different types of dinosaurs - well, and us parents too. so, am thinking i'd grow this collection a bit over the next few months. Big Z has a good laugh and chat about the books after having the book read to him each time. would recommend these, yes.

the first 2 books below are the ones Big Z already has. i now want to get him the last 3 books below.

the other series he picks out from his mini home library would be The Little Red Engine series. he's got 2 books in this series (as shown below). the stories were written by Diana Ross - a children's writer, famous back in the 40s, 50s and 60s. i was thrilled to happen upon the books during our holiday to the UK 2 years back. with a toddler already very much into trains, i thought giving him a classic train storybook would just be peachy. it's quite old-school English the book adopts. his very own starter collection of vintage books. :-) pretty serious tone though for a children's book, i'd say. but i think that was just the style back then. everything seemed a lot more proper, a lot more English, if you like. Big Z doesn't seem to mind. he'll still pick these books out from time to time and will sit through it while i read them to him.

what books are your toddler(s)/child(ren) fond of? be interesting to exchange ideas and suggestions on books for our lil ones. :-)

38 weeks (with Z.A.) and counting ...

2008-02-13T20:36:00.000-08:00

this is Baby Z at 38 weeks. she's still not engaged.

:: check out the a-lil-too-pouty-bordering-grumpiness mouth ::

as for myself, i'm not showing any signs of going into early labour. i wish i was though, as it's really getting a bit too uncomfortable navigating my whole self around the house. sleeping is almost an impossible act too. there just isn't any position that will put me through a good night's sleep without much discomfort. am i complaining a bit here? more than 'a bit', i'd say.

they say each pregnancy is a different experience in itself. it's all true! this really has been a challenging one compared to the first pregnancy. having said that, this one also sees me going through it with a much more active mind and physical self. whereas with the previous pregnancy, all i did was basically lie in bed with books and magazines and dvds whilst entertaining all sorts of culinary cravings, this one sees me walking a lot, driving (i still am at this stage, should i stop by now?), sweeping, mopping, cooking, crafting, tending to the Big Z and everything else in between. they also say, keeping yourself active is good and it may well bring about early labour. hmm ... i should have already given birth then, if that's the case.

the longer i wait, the more restless i become. the more restless i am, the more tidying up and rearranging of all sorts around the house i end up doing. the more tidying up and rearranging i do, the more i realise i hang on to one-too-many things over too-long a period of time. i need to learn to let go of things which clearly have no use anymore, rather than hang on to them and then worry myself senseless on a daily basis on the shortage of storage at home.

..................

here's a lil bit of 'fun' for you. we've confirmed Baby Z's name, her initials are Z.A. for those who feel like guessing the name, please do. include your guesses in your comment. when she FINALLY arrives, i'll announce it right here in this blog. a lil congratulatory token (for guessing the right name) may then be yours. :-)

on that note, happy day to all. oh, and to those who really celebrate it in one way or another (we don't btw), happy valentine's day. here's our card from Big Z - his craft today in school. his card is as far as 'celebrating' on our part.

:: front of card ::

:: inside of card ::

staying true to our roots and beliefs ...

2008-02-12T19:00:00.000-08:00

it's always encouraging to see your child pick up new (positive) developments. often, when we least expect to get some interest from them, we find ourselves watching with much glee and hope for better things to come.

i'm not your most religious 'modern Muslim young mom' around. i do my prayers, yes. i read the Quran at least once every 2 days, or once a day (when i feel i've a bit more time to spare). i semi-cover myself. i've never seen the need to or fallen into the temptation to indulge in some (alcoholic) drink. but still, in short, i'd say that i've still a long way to becoming as perfect a Muslim person as possible.

as far as teaching and showing my child the simple basic daily relgious practices, again, still a long way to go. i've only gotten as far as teaching Big Z how to recite the 'bismillah', the 'fatihah' and the 'doa before tido'. and i got him a book on the introduction of jawi.

the past week though, Big Z has shown some keen interest in attempting to pray. he'd really get into the whole spirit of it all, though i suspect he gets a lil too excited too early on.

Me : what you doing in there (bathroom)?
Big Z : it's OK, Mummy ... i'm just washing ... just taking my 'smayang air'.
Me : oh ..? don't take too long, don't wet the whole bathroom.
Big Z (comes out from the bathroom) : OK. all done now. see, i take my 'smayang air' already.
Me : OK. you can smayang now then.
Big Z : OK
Big Z (stands in position on the sejadah, pauses then ...) : I think I smayang another day.
Me : what?? why not now?
Big Z : because ... i take my 'smayang air' already. so much! and now, i'm feeling tired and wet all over. so, i think i just smayang another day la.
Me : *speechless*

the scenario above is what happens more often than not! when he's not too lazy, he'll be 'reciting' some bits of Arabic jargon as he goes through the different praying positions. but, to watch this, both the Daddy and I need to be real quiet and just peek from outside. as soon as he catches us watching him, he'll get all shy and stop immediately.

lately too, he's been saying he wants to go to Mekah for a holiday. says he, "Mekah first, and then London to meet Thomas and all the trains there". *LOL*

on that note, i think i'll start him on mengaji class this year. i started reading the Muqadam at age 5 too. think it'll be good to start him this year then - he turns 5 in August. while there's interest from him, i should really encourage it.

the waiting game ...

2008-01-30T06:55:00.001-08:00

someone's a little too comfy and all snug as a bug in my tummy

that same someone is only expected to make her debut in 3 weeks, with an expected birth weight of around 3.2kg

that same someone FINALLY has a name - the Mummy and Daddy pondered over tens of names before finally agreeing and deciding on one

someone else is ballooning and puffing up much to her discomfort

that same someone else is trying to pass the waiting time through all sorts of necessary AND unnecessary projects around the house

that same someone else is also thinking up ways to disguise her fatness, but realizes there really isn't any way to hide it anymore, so have decided to embrace all of her fatness

happy rest-of-the-week to all! :-)

conversations with the Big Z ...

2008-01-27T17:59:00.000-08:00

a case of not liking them doctors ...

Big Z : I don't like my doctor, Mummy.
Me : Why? What's wrong with him?
Big Z : Coz he always pokes me (mimics the doctor giving him his injections).

Hehehe ... 'pokes' is his definition of injections.

Big Z : Also .... I think I don't like your doctor, Mummy.
Me : Whyyy??
Big Z : Coz he said it's a baby sister inside your tummy, not a baby brother! I told him I want a brother, but he said baby sister. See, that's all. So I think I don't like your doctor.

*LOL*

He says a lot of "see! that's all" too these days. He'll talk away, and at the end of his sentence(s), will say "see, that's all".

planning for the future ... seems he's been planning as much as I have too!

Me : Shall we go for a nice holiday somewhere in August?
Big Z : August? August??? Holiday?!?
Me : Yea. You, me, Daddy and Baby ... we'll go a for a nice holiday, coz your school will be closed in August.
Big Z : But Mummiieeeeeee ..... August is my birthday!
Me : Yea, I know. Mummy's birthday is in August too. So, let's go away for a good holiday.
Big Z : No Mummy. August, I only want to stay at home.
Me : Why?
Big Z : Becauussseeeee...... all the boys and girls, all my friends and everybody must come to my house for my birthday party. .... In August! See. That's all.

So yea. The Big Z isn't too keen on a nice long family holiday in August. A problem, I'd say, as I'm very much looking forward to one and August seems the most appropriate month to travel - Big Z having his long school break then, Baby Z won't be too small and fragile by then, and I, well, hopefully, HOPEFULLY will be at least a size smaller than I am now.

guaranteed to work (for the romantic souls, that is) ...

2008-01-21T17:41:00.000-08:00

I subscribe to some of them free online newsletters which tracks your pregnancy stage - the likes of Baby Centre UK and Parenting Weekly. It's mostly informative useful information (as most of you would be familiar with, am sure). There are the occasional mails they send which end up being less informative on my part though - more like you're-kidding-right?? bits of 'information'. One such mail came in this morning.

According to Parenting Weekly, in this last trimester and no less, last few weeks to due date, they're suggesting us heavily pregnant women do the following, to rekindle the romantic spirit during the pregnancy:

1. Take a long, leisurely bath together. Enjoy a glass of non-alcoholic sparkling cider or sparkling water with juice.
There is NO possible way of that taking place here at the Big Lime abode - we've no bathtub and well, we've just never gotten too comfortable with the whole bathe-together concept. Some non-alcoholic sparkling juice doesn't sound too bad though.

2. Take turns giving each other slow, sensual massages. Try using oils scented with jasmine, rose, or musk.
Another miss here. The husband has never massaged me. In fact, the only time I recall him actually massaging my back (which is very much prone to bad aches no thanks to the countless of falls i've had over the years) was during our dating days back in UK. Ever since, any backache I have, I simply endure it on my own, and self-medicate it somehow.

3. Play soft music. Dance slowly by candlelight.
Hmmm ... I'll do the music bit. Dancing by candlelight (or even any great big flashing neon lights), I just wouldn't bother with.

4. Rent a romantic video and snuggle under a soft blanket.
A romantic movie I may watch. Snuggle under a soft blanket, I may do too. But we both tend to watch our DVDs on our own, rather than with each other - we're fussy and anti-social like that.

5. Feed each other. Try chocolates and fresh fruits.
How about just the raw definition of 'feeding each other'. He pays for the groceries, I cook up some meal using those paid-for (by him) groceries. Works too, right? Chocolates and fruits are often on the menu anyway. ;-)

6. Look through photos taken when you first met to remember how you felt when you first fell in love.
Photos when we first met? You mean all what, TEN (or less!) of them?? *LOL* If not for having our firstborn, we would probably still have those ten photos only. We aren't big on photo-taking, not till Big Z came along and then all focus was on him.
But to remember how we felt when we first fell in love? Well, it's a good thing my memory is pretty good, so we just talk about it really - minus them photos.

7. Return to the scene of your first date or re-create it as closely as possible.
Aaaww... would I? Can I?? Returning to the scene of our first date is what I think of practically everyday - but something tells me it's not just to reminisce on the date itself, but as a whole, the whole walking-down-memory-lane part of recalling my days as a student (both single and then with The Husband) in foreign land. We're talking about 'recreating' those days sometime end of the year ... but for now, it's all just talks. Only. Period.

8. Sit together in the moonlight and just hold hands.
How about just trying to sit together through a meal at home? That hardly takes place anymore. We each eat at different times, at times, even choosing to skip our meals. Which is why, weekends are crucial times to go out and have a nice decent meal together (well, with Big Z too of course).

So there you have it. 8 tips as suggested by the people over at Pregnancy Weekly.
For your typical lovey-dovey, touchy-feely, overly romantic and madly in love couples, I'd say the suggestions could well work and do great big wonders to their already-heavily-laden-with-love-gestures lives. For the clearly-non-romantics like us though, it simply highlights how distant we are, yet somehow that silence and freedom we have to do our own thing at our own time still bonds us together. Hard to believe, I know. But it seems to work. With a lot of hiccups too in between, mind you.

Having said that, during my pregnancy with Big Z, I was surprised myself as it was all-systems-go in the romantic department. I was my most sensual and romantic during those 40 weeks. This time though, I don't know... I'm happiest when I don't see him (The Husband). How bad is that?? But I've heard similar stories where the pregnant wife can't stand the sight and/or company of the husband. I hope it'll pass soon enough. And definitely by the time Baby Z is out of me.

Just a thought - as difficult as it gets for the pregnant wife, am sure husbands have a hard time adjusting to all sorts during the pregnancy period too. On that note, my apology to firstly, my husband (i'll now have to give him the link to my blog so he can read my apology .. heheh) and secondly to the rest of the expectant fathers community out there, in particular, those with super-uptight-and-moody wives. (see, i still DO care, you know?)

a pixie-haired mom is ready for changes ... (or so she hopes)

2008-01-16T21:57:00.000-08:00

am in my final weeks of the pregnancy now. not feeling the healthiest, strongest and certainly not the most attractive at the moment. body and joints are all achy, nose is bloody, sleeps are becoming almost impossible. put simply, i'm not feeling the chirpiest, happiest and most confident 34-week-plus mom right now.

so ... something had to be done. i could have resorted to just lying in bed with a good book or mag ... but that'll see me as plain lazy and won't help the ever-expanding hips and thighs and bum! i could have entertained myself with some dvds - but nothing new to watch, and i don't particularly fancy a repeat of the ones i've watched. i could have baked me some naughty-but-am-certain-would-be-satisfying brownies or cookies, or whipped me up a good lime custard pudding thingy my sister does so brilliantly ... but, i'm crap in the dessert-making department. i did the most logical thing then. drove to the mall nearby, got myself a much-needed haircut.

as i watched with all blurriness (glasses were off while the lady did her thing on my hair), i was bidding goodbye to my long-ish locks and my messy days, and as each lot of curls were brushed off me, i took that as new chapters to open up, new rewards to look forward to, new beginnings to embrace. i've a pretty short hairdo now. (for obvious reasons, i can't put up a photo of the 'new' me ;-)) i feel much more free, light and ready to face the next great big thing coming my way. i think i needed the haircut, not just as i was getting sick of my limp long hair, and not just as i've always thought short hair suited me better, but it was more of a step to change things around, to take the plunge and just let things be as He has obviously mapped out for me and to not worry too much over tiny little details every so often. there is only so much i can do at the end of each day, the rest - the unfinished bits of work - either abandon them completely, or just calmly bring it on to the next day's list of to-dos. hitting myself, punishing myself over imperfections won't do any good, and as a result, i only end up a cranky mom and wife. that isn't what i want to be, though sadly, that's happened one too many times off late. so, enough of that, it's time to start fresh. the haircut is a good first step. and heck, i NEED to sort myself out already ... i've a baby to give birth to in a month's time - give or take some days.

on that note, what better way to welcome in more positives than indulging in a big mug of chilled orange juice and a couple of scones. of course, i could beg my sister to make her lovely lime custard pudding thingy, but the OJ and scones will do for now. one can't go wrong with a lil bit of sugar-pampering, right? ;-)

all you need is just ONE letter ...

2008-01-14T22:27:00.000-08:00

My son's never been short of showing concern and care towards other people. OK ... that paints too pretty and too perfect a picture. Let's start again.
My son's never been short of being nosey. And just to sugar-coat things a little, yes, I'd like to think, at the back of it all, it's only because he's concerned and interested in one's well-being that he displays this 'sibuk' trait.

Some 2 weeks back, we were over at my parents'. My lil nephew (a happy 10-month old lil chap) was crawling under some tables much to my brother telling him not to. He ignored it and kept going back to the said-table. After some few warnings, my brother stood up, started walking to him while clearing his throat doing that "ahem .. ahem ..." warning thingy one does to alert a cheeky lil toddler. The rest of us just carried on doing whatever it was we were doing, leaving my brother to pull his son out from under the table. Well, almost 'the rest of us'.

Big Z being Big Z ... Big Z being my incredibly chatty, much opinionated, nosey/concerned self, had to step in! He walked behind his uncle (my brother), and as the uncle was 'scolding' his son, Big Z tried to mimic the scolding. He couldn't go as far as "ahem ... ahem ..." though. He came up with his own signature telling-off. It was all of ONE letter, not even a word. Stood in front of his 10-month old cousin, and warned him by saying "M ... M ... M...!". *LOL*

We all laughed. It was the combination of his eagerness to step in to 'punish' this lil toddler and then to come up with not even a viable word, but the repitition of a single letter of the alphabet. Where there's a Big Z, there's bound to be some true-to-his-style comic relief.

when things just don't quite fit you ...

2008-01-09T00:21:00.000-08:00

achy + sleepy + desperately need to get new, bigger bras = a not-so-happy me

Hmm ... just thinking now, maybe I'm achy because I'm wearing a size too small, and as a result of the aches, the eyes are somehow affected too. You think?

Am tidying up and sorting out the photos on my laptop, came across this old one.
This was me, some 3 weeks before giving birth to Big Z, back in '03.

:: with my family celebrating my dad's birthday - Mandarin Oriental KL Chinese restaurant ::

I'm looking pretty much the same at the moment, with some 4 weeks to go now - give or take. Just picture a bigger me though. Am bigger this time, am convinced of that. Just to prove my point even more, yesterday ... let's just say, my left wrist was pinched a wee bit too much as I tried to fasten my watch on it. There's now a mark of sorts on the wrist, just to remind me to quit forcing myself into things that clearly DO NOT fit me anymore. Haha. Seriously ... how much bigger am I going to get before full-term? Scary, to say the least!

Anyway........

How has your day been so far? Better than mine, I hope.

almost ready to welcome Baby Z

2008-01-07T01:14:00.000-08:00

Can I just say I'm possibly the happiest 29 year old expectant mom around? OK ... maybe the happiest on my street. But anyhow, that'll count for now. Why, you may ask? Well, I got around to completing even more of Baby Z's corner today. And while at it (dressing up the space for her), I also did a lil something for Big Z.

Would love to show the corner now. But 2 lil problems here ... the first, I haven't exactly photographed them at all and secondly, showing it now will only display Baby Z's name (which is something I'd like to announce ONLY once she's out of me).

Until then, on a completely unrelated topic, here's a rather serious photo of Big Z - such is the expression you'd get from him when he's on Youtube or any other kids/learning sites. Deep concentration this photo displays.

The other extreme would be something more along the lines of pure laugh-out-loud excitement, like this one shot during a morning trip to the local playground.

nesting on a Sunday ...

2008-01-06T00:23:00.000-08:00

Today saw us staying in (well, The Daddy had a reunion brunch with some old schoolmates though). After lunch, we managed to get quite a number of things done around the house. I'm a happier person now because of this. :-)

Apart from the usual laundry (I really don't know why I can't just do laundry every other day or even just twice a week, instead of every single day ... honestly, I think I should limit the change of clothes habit in this household ... haha) and the sweeping and mopping (today was the whole of downstairs), we finally created the corner for Baby Z in the room downstairs. Plan is to have myself and baby parked downstairs during the confinement period. Saves me walking up and down too much especially since we haven't a maid waiting by our every call. I'd still have to attend to daily housechores and being downstairs just seems the most practical solution.

So yes. A lil corner downstairs then for Baby Z. There's the swinging crib, a chair for feeding sessions, some wall art and ample more space on the floating shelves to display other bits in the future. Depending on how efficient I'll be, the plan is to take close-up photos of Baby Z and have them lining up on the shelves. There'll also be a storage box of sorts to hold in her essential toiletries and diapers; this would occupy the other half of the wall shelves. Other than that, there's the crib to dress up (we've yet to get cotlinen) and possibly a cushion just to 'complete the look' of the feeding chair.

OK. Just read this post up to the previous paragraph, I really haven't completed the corner, have I now?? Still lots to do. But ... judging by the rate things get done around here, I'd have to say, I'm most pleased with our efforts today. Haha.

When it's all finally completed, I'll photograph the teeny-weeny corner and put up them photos here.

Meanwhile, I shall have a serving of good 'ol tau fu fah now - they say, packing in them calcium in you is all good for baby and expecting mom. Some go as far as guaranteeing you the fairest baby too. Hmm... A big serving I shall indulge in now then. ;-)

Oh, and Big Z's getting better now, Alhamdulillah ...
He should be able to make it to first day back at school tomorrow.

an upset tummy and a new year to make the most of ...

2008-01-04T08:52:00.000-08:00

It's just past 2am on the 5th day of 2008.

At the top of my mind now (of things to see to, priorities, things to do and such) is my not-too-well Big Z. He's down with an upset tummy, he's made 3 trips to the loo just today and he's now not his chirpiest self. Weak and quiet pretty much sums him up at the moment. Seeing him unwell like this just breaks my heart. He's otherwise known to be very vocal and chirpy a 4 year old. I'm doing the quick recall exercise in my head now and I really can't think of anything bad he could have eaten in the past couple of days or so to trigger this upset tummy. As I'm typing this out, he's asleep next to me - we're taking refuge in the downstairs room tonight as the distance between the sofabed here and the ensuite bathroom is closer than that of his and/or my bed upstairs and the bathroom upstairs. Am anticipating at least one more rush to the loo some time middle of the night, and at this stage (of my being heavily pregnant), I'd like to save as much walking steps as I can. So, here we are camping downstairs tonight and I'm very much awake as I can't get that peace of mind knowing my son's unwell. Just doesn't seem fair to sneak in some shut-eye when I know he's far from comfortable even with his eyes shut.

The morning will see us making a trip to the doctor's. Have him properly checked and treated. It's all so timely (NOT, really) he's down with this tummy bug now, just 2 days before he starts school. After a good 4-week break, his school will start it's 2008 term this Monday. If the tummy doesn't settle down by tomorrow though, I don't think he should go in to school on Monday. Miss the first day, I really don't mind.

All this aside, I'm hoping for better things to come my way, our way this year. As we all do, naturally. I wouldn't say I'm one to list down my new year's resolution. But, just for the sake of all things 'new' and list-y, some general things I'd like to tick off my mental list would be as follows:

1. Have as smooth and easy a labour and delivery when Baby Z decides it's time to wriggle out of me - please please come out easy, my lil one ... and then please please be a darling of a child to raise.

2. Better myself as a whole, but mostly, as a mother to my kid(s), wife and daughter - I owe it to my kid(s) to be a strong, responsible and loving mom; I owe it to my husband to be a responsible, communicative and loving wife and I absolutely owe it to my parents to be a responsible, well-mannered and thankful daughter.

3. Get back to a size 10 (UK) by middle of the year - big BIG ambition here, but why not? Let's put me on that great big journey of a challenge.

4. Manage my time better each day so as to keep my sanity - this applies to juggling daily housechores, whilst managing the demands of a 4 yr old and soon, a lil baby too.

5. Have greater patience and tolerance for inevitable conflicts of interest between the husband and meself - this would no doubt be a great challenge; almost as, if not more than #3.

6. Always always shower my kid(s) with more than necessary love, yet maintain the fact that I'm here playing their mom first, and their friend second - which means, discipline and good behaviour from them would always be expected. I'd tolerate no roughness, no bullying, no verbal rudeness and the likes of those.

7. Suggest, persuade, plan a good holiday with the husband for us to go on with Big Z and Baby Z when Baby Z is at least 5 months old - for now, the thought of Bali seems very welcoming.

So there you have it. My list for now. It's a list I better make myself refer to every so often. Them ticks would very much do me good.

Till the next update then, wish me luck and hope you do well with your own respective lists too. On that note, happy new year to all. May 2008 bring us all better things, rewards, much love, berkats, rezekis and pahalas. InsyaAllah ...

always remember to pack your 'belongings' with you ... DO NOT leave anything behind

2007-12-29T16:59:00.000-08:00

You know how you sometimes go some place, and then come home only to realise you left something behind at that said-some place? Could be a brochure you picked up while walking that you left behind at say, a mall ... could be a scarf or change of your kid's clothes you left at a friend's house when visiting ... that sort of thing, yea.

Well, this morning, I woke up to find out that my son had 'left something behind' too.

We were at The Gardens yesterday. Mid-morning to early afternoon - spent a good 3 hours and a bit there. First visit there for all 3 of us. Must say, I liked it. Much much quieter than the chaos that is KLCC and even OU during the weekends.

This morning, Big Z came to wake me up in an almost urgent but still sleepy tone. "Wake up, Mummy ... I need to mandi now". First thing I thought was ... oh dear ... please please don't tell me you wet your bed. He didn't. So yey. He had already stripped himself and was waiting in the shower cubicle by the time I waddled my way to the bathroom. With eyes still sepet and voice still serak (signs of not being fully awake himself just yet), I gave him his shower. And asked why the rush this morning. It was barely 7:30, and on a Sunday, no less. He replied, "we need to go now ...". Where?? "We need to go to the mall ... Gardens, Mummy". It was too hilarious as there he was, practically forcing his eyes to open wide and stand properly in the shower, but he clearly had bright-and-early plans to hit the mall again this morning. When I asked why we have to go there again today, why the urgency, his reply (as with most of his other replies) was very honest and adamant. His reply, "... becaussseeee..... I left them behind, Mummy. I left the shops behind yesterday. See ... now we need to go Gardens again". *LOL*

There you go! Did it ever occur to you that one could leave shops behind? Almost like we forgot to pack them shops with us when we left the mall yesterday! Haha ...

We aren't making the trip there again today, by the way. We've lunch plans with my parents instead. Let's hope we won't leave any favourite food or something behind today, or tomorrow may see him telling me we need to go back to the restaurant again.

the 'missing' mole ...

2007-12-27T20:23:00.000-08:00

For those who know me, you'd know I've a very prominent mole above my mouth (unless of course, when we meet, you never quite noticed it ... hehe). And then about a hundred more scattered around my body. OK .. maybe not quite a hundred, but plenty nevertheless. Just on my face, there's 5. But this isn't about me so much.

Big Z's story. Once again, yes.

He was in one of his affectionate moods earlier. Hugged and kissed me (the Daddy says to always embrace it all now coz he may just decide he's too much of a man to be hugging and kissing the Mummy once he hits the 7th yr! haha) and then cupped my face and commented on my mole. The one right above my mouth.

Immediately he had to check how he'd match his Mummy. Checked his face for moles he did! He has none on his face, by the way. Wasn't satisfied, so resorted to lifting his shirt up in search of that missing mole. While lifting the shirt up, said "ey ... where is it? where's it gone now?? ... mole's not behaving himself .. it's hiding, Mummy". *LOL*

I was amused. He wasn't quite as amused. Took it pretty seriously. Was finally comforted when he spotted a mole on his tummy. It's not as big and prominent as mine, but that'll do for now. It certainly made his day alright. "There! I found it. There's my mole". And then walked away a happy chap. :-)

On that note, a good weekend to all!

Mandarin for Dummies (Big Z style) ...

2007-12-27T08:07:00.000-08:00

I know no Mandarin. Big Z however, has started learning Mandarin in school. Asked him just moments ago what he learns in his Mandarin class. After a lot of reluctance to entertain the Mummy, he finally acknowledged me. So I asked how one counts in Mandarin. After a short pause, he started laughing away on his own. As soon as he could mouth out his sense of humour, he left me in laughter as well! See, according to Big Z, this is how one counts in Mandarin ...

"Mandarin one ... Mandarin two ... Mandarin three ... Mandarin four ..."

Both Mummy and the Big Z were laughing in hysterics for a good 3 to 5 minutes. :-)

Those interested in learning the said-language, I'm guessing you should continue the progression mentioned above. It'll continue as "Mandarin five ... Mandarin six ... and so on". You get the picture, yea? ;-)
But just between you and me, I'd strongly suggest you learn the language thoroughly and correctly, and NOT the way that Big Z has; plenty of sense of humour, zilch in the actual accuray of the language.

down to the last one ...

2007-12-26T02:17:00.000-08:00

It could be one of two things -
(a) there's still some significant amount of room
(b) someone's proving to be a very active and restless little one

Had my check-up this morning. 2 weeks ago, Baby Z seemed to be on her way down the birth canal, with head already downwards, but not engaged. Today, it's the complete opposite, with head up against my ribs (right side) and legs curled up towards the bottom left of me tummy. At the sight of this, Dr G classified this as a true breech position, but he's not alarming me as upon further check, there are no signs of me going into early labour. Which means, technically, there should be sufficient time for her to turn herself back around. Unless she's pretty small, with still much space in the uterus to somersault every other day or so ... then a breech birth may be in store for me. Eeeek! For now, she weighs 1.8kg, which is apparently a normal weight for this stage of the pregnancy - 33 weeks plus.

On the homefront, I've completed personalized paintings for her lil corner, welcomed in more newbies in the origami paper crane population, got her crib, baby carrier-cum-carseat, stroller, a pack of newborn short onesies and a pack of newborn full-bodysuits. My mum's telling me to start packing my bag for the hospital stay, but packing it now-ish makes me feel like I'll be checking in for my labour stay in the next couple of weeks. I wouldn't want to go into labour so soon. Not just yet. So, the hospital bag packing is still a pending bit of work I would need to get to in due time.

The title at the top of this entry refers to one last Galaxy bar I've got left to indulge in. That'll be my sinful craving at the moment, yes. Tsk tsk tsk . . .

what you'll get from an ambidextrous (might be) lil dude . . .

2007-12-23T18:12:00.000-08:00

Some of the 'finer' things you hear coming out of Big Z's mouth ...

:: in the car, myself and The Daddy were talking, music wasn't exactly soft, so our voices weren't exactly on the low volume either, Big Z was trying to 'read' his book ::

Big Z: ey Mummy .... can you please talk softly? i can't son-ken-trate!

note: son-ken-trate = concentrate

:: on the sofabed, lying down next to me, kissing my belly ::

Big Z: when Baby Adik comes, you go to your doctor ... and you're not scared anymore Mummy ... yes? you're not scared anymore ... doctor checks your baby, and then I wait for you at Atok's house, yes? that's a good idea, yes?

note: a lot of 'yes' at the end of his sentences, almost to clarify things and give himself the peace of mind on things to come :-)

:: on noticing my belly button is now an 'outie' and not an 'innie' anymore ::

Big Z: why's the baby so fat, Mummy? she push your button out already!! ... (shakes head and says) why ... why ...?

note: yup, my belly button's no longer the deep valley that it used to be .. it's so sticking out there, pretty much has a head-start compared to the rest of my body now! not a pretty sight, i tell ya. but, all part and parcel of being pregnant, right? heavily pregnant, no less!

Oh, on a separate note, I'm starting to think that Big Z could be ambidextrous.
I did observe a while back how he'd swap his spoon from one hand to the other when eating, just as he'd swap his pen or crayon from one hand to the other when writing. But this was some time back, when he was about a year plus, so I didn't think much of it - citing it as just a toddler perfecting his motor skills. But recently, some weeks back, I watched him write his name and only after he'd finished writing it, did I notice he was using his left hand. More often, I see him using his right hand. What was even more surprising, was the fact that his name had never looked so neat as that left-hand's crafty job. Maybe he should use his left hand more when writing and painting then ... it may produce neater pieces of work.

So yea, whadya think? Big Z an ambidextrous maybe?
Both The Daddy and myself are righties. But, my dad is ambidextrous and my brother's a lefty. It could be possible then that Big Z's taking after my dad, yes?

a break from waddling . . .

2007-12-12T21:09:00.000-08:00

So. It turns out, I'm not due early March, not even late February. I've been going through this pregnancy thinking it'll be a late Feb/early March baby. Yesterday, all was 'clarified'. Turns out, I've another 8 weeks to go, making my due date the end of the 1st week of February. Yippie!! Yes, I'm thrilled but not so much as to want to welcome the baby as early as say, mid or late January. I'd gladly let Baby Z get to her 'ripest' while in my tummy till she really has no more room to wriggle about in, and then yea, I should be ready then to do the mom-thing in the labour room.

If all goes well, the whole labour and delivery ordeal would be no more than 5 hours long. That was the experience I had with Big Z. So, any longer than 5 hours, I can't possibly say "I've been there, done that", can I now? Which means, any longer than 5 hours, I'd be a tad bit freaked out.

Maybe I'd write a bit now on my labour and birth story with Big Z.
My due date was the 20th August 2003. On the 19th, I had my scheduled routine check-up. Went in and found out I was already 2cm dialated. Gynae asked if I felt any pain, any contractions, anything different from the norm the previous night. Nope. Didn't feel anything different. He told me I must have a pretty high threshold of pain. So, I was to come in the next morning at 7am, get myself admitted, settle in my room, and then at 8am, my gyane will come check on my progress. That morning, at 8am, he walked in and checked - I was 4cm dialated. Once again, I hadn't felt anything. At about 8:40am, he broke my waterbag. Contractions will speed up once the waterbag's broken, that's the way it goes, right? So, at 9:15am, I was wheeled into the labour ward. Very anxious and excited by now. But still, didnt' feel anything. No pain. Got in the labour ward, and only as I was changing into the hospital gown did the pain suddenly (and finally!) hit me. Jabbing pain it was. It was like being attacked on all sides of your abdomen. With hospital gown on now, I parked myself on the bed and soon, the gynae and nurses came in. My epidural was ordered immediately. But, ticklish me, made it all a wee bit trickier for the anaesthesist to put the epidural in me, as the needle kept tickling me. It took a while longer than necessary (according to him and the nurses). But once in, the epidural worked wonders. Prior to it settling in me and doing its thing in my system, I did feel the contractions - its strong, sharp pain. It's a good thing then that I'm such a ticklish person by nature, as at least, I can say I did feel the physical pain that is labour contractions, and not just immediately resort to painkillers. ;-)

Epidural in and working, I didn't feel any pain anymore. It was just mostly this cold and very-soon-after shivering sensation which I felt the rest of the labour time. Of course, there was the extreme drowsiness too. I slept a good 2 hours or so. I woke up, and was in my chirpiest of mood, very happy indeed, no pain, and basically, no sense of touch at all. Told me to wriggle my toes, I did (or so I thought i did .. nothing moved). Told me to stretch my legs out front, again, I'm certain I did, but in truth, I pretty much folded my right leg in half backwards. Yes, it was an odd sight indeed, but it kept the nurses amused, which in turn left them real sweet and helpful to me throughout the labour. At exactly noon, I was 8cm dialated. By now, I was dozing on and off, but knowing that it was already 8cm, it shouldn't take much longer. At 1pm, I was fully dialated. All of 10cm. The nurses paged for my gyane, who was at the time in some lunch talk, so they were a bit panicky as they could not locate him at first. He finally came up just before 1:15pm (not a long wait, but I suppose at the time, everyone panics! heheh), and I was told to start pushing at 1:15pm. Pushed and pushed I did. Nothing! Yup. The epidural was so strong, I just couldn't feel anything. What I thought was 'push', was in fact just me adjusting my posture. Haha. The nurses had to physically push me down then, just the first couple of times, and then I got the hang of it. Two more pushes, and Big Z was out. All 3.44kg and 51cm of him. At 1:36pm. On Wednesday, the 20th August 2003. He really did come out on his due date. Punctuality at its best here. Hehe.

It's not such a bad birth story then, right? Just over 4 hours in the labour ward. 9am to 1:36pm. So yes, I'm very much hoping and praying for an equally smooth and 'easy' labour and birth with Baby Z now.

My check-up with the gynae yesterday went well. He said baby's growing normally, statistics are all fine and healthy, with a note that Baby Z could possibly be on the big side, hence the aches I'm having now in my lower pelvic area. Baby Z has moved down, ie: head is down, but not enaged yet. Had a peek at her face - very round indeed. I can't help but wonder if she'll inherit my curly hair. I had incredibly curly noodle-y hair as a baby and toddler, but over the years, it kinda sorted itself out to my now-naturally-wavy hair. Something also tells me she'll be tall, after the Daddy. But we shall wait and see. All part of the suspense and surprise of meeting baby for the first time. :-) Gynae pointed out that I'll most likely have a similar sort of labour and birth experience this time round, and even possibly a shorter one (labour time). Seriously?? Well, I sure hope he's right. :-) But I've already speicified and reminded him that I'd like that lil thing called the epidural at hand, in the event I'm all crying and aching in pain. I'm not one of them ninja all au naturel moms - go through it all with NO painkillers at all. No no. Not me. I'll pay extra for comfort and convenience. Epidural it shall be.

8 weeks to go then. As I'm typing this out, I've now a cot in our room, about 4 tops and 1 pants for Baby Z. And that's about it really. We haven't bought her anything yet. The clothes were gifts and the cot's a hand-me-down. I'm now thinking this weekend could be a good time to start going out looking for baby things - namely the baby carrier, the stroller, changing mat and a bathtub. But knowing me, I'll just end up looking, and not buying just yet.

Meanwhile, I've more things to tidy up around the house, not just to make space for new resident at home, but so too to keep me sane and not be drowning in the masses of papers and books and magazines and trains (that'll be Big Z's story) that have taken over the house!

Oh, and just in case you're wondering how I look like now, imagine a penguin or a duck (whichever takes your fancy more). I'm just like them now. Waddling I do so frighteningly well, and walking I have almost forgotten how to! *LOL*

a mommy's cry . . .

2007-12-06T01:34:00.000-08:00

tired i am, exhausted i am, in pain i am

but to simply unwind, pause and stop work is just not an option here.

dream i shall then - of faraway holiday spots perhaps, or just a good lie-in at home.

should i wave my 'red flag' now?

should i quit trying to be mom-and-housewife-extraordinaire?

should i just shut both eyes to the chaos that is the state of the house (or life)?

sigh...........

it must all be worth the aches and pain,

it must all be worth the string of complaints

but seriously though,

how much longer to my end reward, my much-needed pat-on-the-back, my own special treat?

:: don't be fooled by the photo - am barely managing it all ::

a bilinguist he is alright!

2007-12-03T04:48:00.000-08:00

. . . or is he? Haha . . .

Big Z was just lying down on the bed, mainly talking to himself. And then he wanted to know the equivalent of some Malay words in English.

Started of very promisingly with the Malay word 'ayam'. To which he confidently shouted out 'chicken' as the English equivalent. Yes, very good. And then it pretty much ended there - all promises of a good thing. I offered the next word, 'nasi', to which he enthusiastically offered the word 'goreng'. *LOL*

I couldn't help but laugh, and told him that 'nasi' is rice and that 'goreng' means fried in English. So, after chicken and rice (incidentally, a combination of the two calls for a pretty yummy treat .. hehe), it basically went down hill ...
'gajah' - his reply was "hey ... this is too difficult, Mummy"
'bunga' - his reply was "err ... I don't know laaa"

That sums up Big Z's sense of humour at 4 years old. I'd rather think he was just being super-cheeky and plain lazy really, as opposed to thinking he hasn't quite grasped the 2 languages. Separately, he knows these words and what they mean in each language, but when asked to give the equivalent word in the other language, well, a right answer we do not get.

'hide and see' . . .

2007-12-02T19:35:00.000-08:00

. . . or hide and seek for the rest of us. Big Z gets it confused every so often - one day it's 'hide and seek' (bravo!), the next, it's 'hide and see', or 'hide and peek' (or is it peak?). Hehe.

But this entry is about another Z. That's right. Baby Z.

The moves that are going on in me these days are happening so often and somewhat rough too. My tummy moves in all direction, I'm pretty convinced Baby Z's an even more active baby than Big Z ever was in my tummy all those 4 yrs plus ago. While Big Z used to only move during the night (but mind you, ALL THROUGH the night though), Baby Z now moves ANYTIME of the day. And pretty much ALL the time really.

Could it also possibly be that Baby Z's cheekier than Big Z was? More playful too? Or could it all just be coincidental?

Typical scenario . . . I feel a fair amount of movement, I let it be for some minutes, until I finally have to see it all properly (ie: lift my top and see and feel the tummy move while Baby Z does her thing). So, I lift my top, put my hands directly on my tummy, and then she freezes. Doesn't move at all. I remove my hands but still have my eyes fixed on the tummy and still, nothing. I then pull my top back down and go about doing what I was previously doing and then ... what do we get?? Another series of active, rough, violent, move-in-all-directions movements from the Baby Z.

This also happens every single time I get the Daddy to come watch her movements. She'll be all rolling about from side to side, or kicking and stretching away, and then the minute the Daddy stands next to me (regardless of him placing his hands on my tummy or not), she stops immediately. It's her little game with us.

I'm trying now to find a sneaky way around getting to actually watch them movements as they happen and not just feel them. Clearly I've got to be real quick and sneaky about it as she seems to master the art of 'hide and seek' rather well, I'd say.

guess who got mail today?

2007-11-25T21:41:00.000-08:00

:: Baby Z's first ever mail - first packgae of pretty lil things ::

Baby Z! :-)

Surprises, packages, gifts ... don't we all just love them?

Sent Big Z to school this morning, went over to my parents', fetched my mom and had morning tea with her at BV, fetched Big Z, sent mom home, then came home again. Parked the car, sent Big Z inside the house, picked up some fallen leaves in the driveway, checked the mailbox and saw this lovely package from a good dear friend. A special something from Australia - she and family now reside there.

Baby Z has just received her first gifts. *big smile here* Has to be said though, it's not a complete surprise of sorts, as just couple days back a mutual friend mentioned I should be receiving a lil something from the said-present-giver sometime soon. Surprise-pooper, ey? But no no, not quite. See, I was meant to know about it so I could make sure I'll be in to receive the package. No one at home to receive it, Mr Postman may just scoot away with the parcel. So, it's a good thing, my mailbox was large enough to hold in the package, as Mr Postman DID come by while I was still out.

:: teeny-weeny pretty lil girly-wear ::

:: the lot with the attached note - thanks so much, Lyn ::

Seems so odd holding and folding baby girl's clothes. It's been all boyish blues for me the past 4 years and a bit, seems almost unreal to have these girl's clothes in the house. *excuse the obvious excitement that is me now*

the homemade story ...

2007-11-19T01:36:00.000-08:00

"Tell Me A Story, Mummy" written by Carl Norac and beautifully illustrated by Mei Matsuoka. This is Big Z's current favourite bedtime read. The main character though, the Mummy's child here is a girl. So, for obvious reasons, when I read the book to him, I replace the said-character to Big Z's name and change the character's friend, to Big Z's pick-of-the-night friend. He gives me the name, I'll just insert it in the story.

After reading this book, he'll ask for the other current favourite. This other one has no book though. It really can't be found anywhere in print for that matter. It's a purely made-up one by yours truly. It's called "The Cereal, The Pasta & The Biscuit". *LOL* This story has many different episodes and takes on it. ;-)

It all started with Big Z not satisfied after reading some 3 or more books to him one night. With the lights off, he insisted I tell him another story. For short of idea and mind you, I was extremely tired by then, I came up with this spur-of-the-moment take on a bedtime story. (no guesses what's on my mind most nights - naming characters after food .. haha!) Most nights, it gets pretty ridiculous a storyline, but I always try my best to include some good moral behind the created story. The most common one is how in life, no two characters or people are the same, yet they can still live together (in the case of the cereal, pasta and biscuit - they all live harmoniously in the kitchen cupboard) and be friends with one another. I've also gone down the also-very-true route that not everyone can get along well with each other, but you'll always need to be nice to people regardless of their differences. Be nice to others, and they'll be nice to you. Or so I'd like to believe and have been brought up to have such a mindset. And what better way to introduce this than through such important characters as the cereal, the pasta and the biscuit, ey? ;-)

After a round of the story (each night is a different storyline, and I really don't know what I've gotten myself into now ... eeek!!), Big Z gives me one of his made-up stories too. A fair trade, I suppose. Haha. And only after that, will he finally agree to go to sleep. Tiring? You don't say!

.............................

I was scribbling about in my notebook (as I normally do) one fine day when I came up with some lines. Read them and it sounded like a good (for my kids at the very least) enough piece of short story. This was some months back. Today, I finally had them printed out. I attached a piece of Big Z's earlier paintings to each of the story's 'page'. My next step is to get these framed up and then have them displayed in Big Z's room. It's another made-up story, another homemade story, if you like. Instead of binding the pages together into a mini book, I thought I'd have them framed up and thus will double up as some unconventional artwork in his room. More home-projects on my end then.

Below, the 4 'pages' to the story. I'm calling this one, "The Bedtime Routine".

:: page 1 ::

:: page 2 ::

:: page 3 ::

:: page 4 ::

over hot cuppas, juice, pastries and nasi lemak . .

2007-11-15T21:35:00.000-08:00

the start of another weekend. another busy and function-packed weekend.

all i really want to do is to lie in bed, hot tea by the side, good book in hands, cool aircon air filling up the room and then doze off in good, much-deserved rest. not that much to ask for, right?
but alas ... things to do, places to go, people to meet. but it's all good.

maybe next weekend, i'd be so lucky to indulge in that envisioned weekend-long rest.

..................................

on a separate note, Big Z went on another school field trip this morning. this time, it was the National Museum. i don't remember the last time i visited the place - must have been when i was 8 or 9. picked him up from school just now and he was telling me about some cat and bus (was it train?) he saw at the museum. haven't managed to dig out for more stories off him, but he was in good chirpy spirits and said that it was fun going to the museum. for now, that's a much better review than his feedback on the National Zoo - his school trip earlier this year. when i fetched him that day, he came in the car and complained - "the zoo's toilet is so dirty, too dirty, Mummy! ... why why??". wasn't too impressed by the animals either "monkeys were not behaving themselves". hmm.... but isn't that what monkeys do anyhow?

while Big Z and the rest of his schoolmates were at the museum this morning, some moms from the school met over a terribly-long-but-nevertheless-great breakfast session over at D*lish in Bangsar Village I. at many junctures, topics chatted and discussed by us moms sounded very much like one of them momsie-chic-lit books. it was interesting as within our group, we're all pretty different in terms of background and age, yet it all comes down to that common hat we each put on - being a mom! from comparing our kids' bedtime rituals and after-school activities, to the highs and lows of our pregancies and labour-room stories, right down to our (*clears throat*) bedroom episodes post-giving birth, it really was a scene just cut out for moms. throw in any one of the daddies to our kids into the breakfast club, i doubt such detailed stories will see us through a cuppa tea, let alone a whole 3-hour-long breakfast. *LOL*

within the group, there are 3 of us currently expecting. one of them had only just announced to the rest of the group she is in fact pregnant - much to everyone's surprise. (the said-mommy: told you i'd keep it to myself ;-)). and myself and another mom just found out our due dates are pretty much a day or two apart. of course, looking at us together, i look double her size! *LOL* one mentioned it would be great if we're having our babies in the same hospital and possibly even be next door neighbours in the maternity ward as it'll ease the other moms visiting us when we pop. :-)

..................................

on that note, i shall leave this entry for now, and go peek on Big Z. i hear lots of moving of things coming from the room. he's been busy building "my a-partners". for the rest of us, that'll be apartments. :-)

..................................

have a good weekend!

week 24

2007-11-12T22:50:00.000-08:00

Had my scheduled check-up with the gynae this morning. Happy to note all's fine and dandy with both baby and me.

It was the longest ultrasound scan performed since the start of this pregnancy. Can't say I wasn't the least bit anxious as Dr G went through each section of the baby meticulously, explaining the growth of each part in detail. Alhamdulillah, all's growing normally and at the right rate for this stage of the pregnancy (24th week). Despite me whining and complaining that I'm feeling incredibly huge, Dr G assured me it's all OK and that I'm doing just fine. He says it's a natural thing and concern for many second-time moms-to-be to be feeling larger than life. I'm thinking now, he could be all honest there, or he could have sugar-coated it (his reassurance) a wee bit. Haha . . . Whadya think?

Back to the scan - it was all normal and good ticks across the major organs. I was most concerned when he closed in on the brain, spine and the heart. Which is expected, I suppose. It's only natural to be that bit worried, no? So it was such a relief when all was found to be in the right place and growing accordingly. Nothing abnormal noted.

My next appointment will be a month from now. We've yet to buy anything for the baby. It's Baby Z, by the way. We've decided to pick Z names for all our kids. Did I say 'all'?? How many AM I expecting to have? *LOL* Hubs has said he'd love 4 kids, ideally. I'm happy to stop at 2. But we'll see. If rezeki comes knocking on my door, or rather, my belly, I'd definitely answer and welcome in the good news.

Speaking of knocking, Baby Z's been pretty active past couple of weeks. The most movements are felt from late afternoon (3pm onwards) right up till about midnight. But last night, probably in anticipation of today's scan, there was a whole lot more acrobatic moves going on. It's at that funny, ticklish stage now where the slightest of nudge, turn of even a hiccup leaves me in awe of the funny wave-like shape my tummy turns into, followed by a quick rush to the loo (this, the less-exciting part though). *LOL*

As far as my 'nesting' instincts are concerned, I'm currently thinking up and rearranging things a bit around the house to utilise our living spaces as best as we can to accommodate a second child in the house. The rate I'm growing, I should (in a perfectly-orchestrated world) get most things done by year end before I triple in size and can only afford to supervise from afar. I've paintings and little prints lined up to dress up the lil nook in our room which will be 'converted' to Baby Z's corner.

Until the next update then, here's a couple of images from the scan this morning.

:: a very shy Baby Z kept covering her face with her hands ::

:: after much nudging by Dr G, she finally moved her hands ... but ever so slightly; these images show both Baby Z and Big Z having the same full lips ... like brother, like sister, ey? ::

Oh, and yes, it's a girl. Yippie!! It's the 5th time the doc has confirmed it, so technically, it should be right, yes? We'd love to think so, as he's told us we're safe to start buying all things pink for the baby now. :-)

8 years together, 5 years married, 4 years as parents and another on the way ...

2007-11-11T18:07:00.001-08:00

Thought I'd do the soppy-mushy tale that is our (dare I say) 'love story'. Why the sudden urge to blog on this? Well, yesterday marked our 8 years together as a couple, a pair, an item.

So, story goes like this ...

The year was 1999. I was living on my own in our humble lil square of an apartment in Stamford Brook, London. Loving the independence of being on my own, tending to my own needs, waking up and going to bed at my own time, shopping for groceries that may not necessarily read food to others but to me - cereal is just ideal for all 3 meals in the day - , enjoying morning weekend walks to get the papers and fresh flowers, it was all just lovely.
I was basically your typical foreign student living in a foreign land, attending lectures and classes and then doing a bit of socialising over the weekends. Those who know me from back then will recall that by socialising, it's purely trips to the shops and cafes and the movies. Am no party girl at all. Not the clubbing type either. Have always preferred smaller, more intimate crowds of friends rather than throwing myself all glammed up in some club and/or party scene to be seen and noticed and chatted up. If you like, I was, put simply, a very dull undergrad. *LOL* Which correspondingly explains a lot of things.

I know of some parents who'd remind their kids to slow down in their relationships, to finish their studies first, then only think about being in a relationship. In my case, it got to a point where phonecalls back home were often dotted with queries on who I was dating and more specifically, why was I not dating anyone yet. (!!) It's simple, really. I don't go out as often as I suppose I'm allowed to, I don't talk as much and open up as much as I'm allowed to and I just really did enjoy the time I had to myself. Of course, the longing part of having a decent guy to call your boyfriend, your date and possibly your future life partner was all very appealing too, but I was pretty much accepting the fact that I'll only meet my man after graduating, and possibly through my parents or siblings arranging something for me once back home for good.

But then things took a different route come October '99. It was just over 2 months in my 2nd year at uni when I was entertaining the likes of online chatrooms (something a fair number of M'sian students indulged in over in the UK). They were all petty chats on my part. Until that one night when I ended up chatting with this guy who was studying in Southampton. Let's call him Mr M for now. Turns out he had heard of me before. That got me talking to him longer. I was curious to know how he knew me. Or rather, know of me.

Mr M was flatmates with a male 'cousin' of mine. I knew no male cousin studying in Southampton. Incidentally, I did have a cousin there, but a girl and in her 1st year. Mr M told me my alleged cousin flatmate of his is in his final year there. Hmm . . . He then told me it's my 'cousin' Iskandar. Iskandar? At the time, the ONLY Iskandar I knew was a close friend of my parents. Went on to say he lives in Bangsar. Again, a Bangsar-ian myself, I really couldn't think of any relation of mine by the name of Iskandar. After some 10 minutes or so trying to put a face to this so-called cousin, Mr M (who, incidentally by that time, we had discovered we'd met previously in London through a mutual friend) told me he'd get the said-Iskandar to chat with me. Waited a bit for him to call his flatmate and soon enough I was chatting away to my-apparent-cousin Iskandar. He finally introduced himself as Izmet, anak Uncle Ramli and Auntie Maznah. Aaaahhhhh ... yes. Yup, I DO know you after all, I was thinking. So it turns out, his full name's Izmet Iskandar. I know him as Izmet, but people in Southampton know him as Iskandar. And yes, he'd mentioned me to his flatmate, Mr M, once or twice before, which was how he recognized me almost immediately. (when i asked Izmet later in our relationship why he had mentioned me to Mr M before, he said he had spotted me once in London, when I was talking to his sister, but that he was too shy to approach me ... hehe)

We continued our online chat over the phone. And the phonecall lasted 6 hours! It was somewhat refreshing to chat to a guy I hadn't met in years, but one I knew of since practically forever. See, his dad is related to my mum through marriage. Not the closest of relations, so if anyone of you reading this is shaking your head and thinking how it's all a great big no-no of a union, rest assured, it's all OK. We caught up on each other's lives - what each was studying there in the UK (he was a final year Accounting & Finance student, I was a 2nd year Marketing Communications student) as well as how our respective families are doing. He then mentioned he comes up to his family's London apartment once every 2 weeks to check on things - namely the bills and to water the plants. He suggested we meet the next time he was up in London.

And met up in London we did. Izmet would gladly tell all how I arrived 10 minutes late for our first date. In my defense, I blame it on the District Line - fondly known for it's less-than-punctual services. Date was Italian dinner followed by the movies. Not the most romantic of movie choice though - it was The Sixth Sense. Dinner was great, movie's one of my all-time favourites now (and no, not because it was our date movie). After, he sent me home as it was pretty late at night, and he didn't want me to take the tube on my own. Fair enough. Sent me home, and we both immediately agreed to meet again the next day before he took his train back to Southampton. So, before he left for his apartment, we made arrangements to meet a second time the next day. The next day's 'date was lunch followed by us (boring) students finishing up our respective pieces of assignments before the Monday arrived. We said goodbye late afternoon. I took the tube home, he the train to his uni halls.

It was a good weekend. I could talk to him easily. No doubt, there was that shy streak in me still, but I suppose knowing each other's family since childhood helped a lot too. I knew here's a guy I could trust. Someone I need not go all out to impress as after all, he already knows who I am. Following that first weekend date then, we were on the phone with each other everyday. We'd speak briefly in the mornings before heading to our respective campuses, and then a longer phonecall at night, before going to bed. Our email inboxes were filled up too in between lectures and classes. Seeing how it all seemed to work rightly, we finally decided to 'go official' on the 11th November 1999 - this, 2 weeks after our first phonecall and first weekend date.

Which brings us back to yesterday. Yesterday, the 11th of November 2007. It's been 8 years. We've been together for 8 years now. I told him it feels more like 20 years as on our not-the-greatest-of-days, it's definitley been tiring dealing with each other's neediness and pettiness and fussiness. But, what's marriage without all of the above-said gloriness, huh? *LOL*
Most days though, I'm just real glad I've a certain Iskandar to call my life partner. He's definitely one who keeps me grounded, supports me and cares for me. We aren't romantics at all, but I'm confident of his loyalty towards me. He's a great dad too and my ever-willing-to-but-rarely-prompt assitant around the house. Well, it could be worse really. So yes, am thankful for that online chat, the fact that Mr M remembered my name and quickly called his flatmate Mr Iskandar, the phonecall which followed, the first date, the subsequent phonecalls and the decision to live our lives together.

Just to mark the date, we got engaged on the 11th November 2001. Incidentally, it was my dad's idea we picked that very date as he knew it was a significant date for us. And I'm glad that we did. Not only does it make it easy to remember when we got engaged, but it also brings me down memory lane each year thereon. We got married on the 8th of August 2002. Another nice date, I'd like to think.

Yesterday, to 'celebrate', we had dinner at Mizu in BV (minus the Big Z - left him with my parents and sister). It's nice to just have that one quiet dinner alone. For someone who almost never leaves her son behind, such dinner dates are most welcomed. But, as soon as we picked Z up, I was hugging and kissing him non-stop. Am such a soppy mom, I tell ya!

So. That's my soppy story for today then.

my working 4 year old

2007-11-08T18:40:00.000-08:00

Big Z:see you later Mummy ... i'm going now
Mummy: where you off to, my sweetie?
Big Z: work! i gotta do my tracks, i really need to do the tracks now, Mummy

'briefcase' in one hand...

essential work equipment in his pyjama pockets...

a very smug and eager boy heading off to work in the morning ... *LOL*

a word (spelt) a day, keeps Mummy happy ...

2007-11-04T23:40:00.000-08:00

I just had to post this photo and accompanying lil story up here.

I was busy around the house - either when I was cooking lunch or giving the downstairs a good sweep and tidy-up. It was only when I finished my Zohor prayers, folded my telekung and placed them on the table did I notice this lil piece of work. It left me with a big smile.

if you look closely, note that the first 'm' in 'mum' is actually a 'w' - he figured it could well be an 'm' when turned upside down. hehe...

I'm thinking, he must have decided to practice his spelling - he's in that stage of asking me how to spell this and that now, and often his name is always in the 'spelling discussion'. Hehe. Nice to later discover that quietly, the ordinarily-noisy Z does come up with some productive work when left on his own while Mummy busies herself around the house. Sigh ... :-)

morphing into the bear ...

2007-11-02T00:32:00.000-07:00

At almost 23 weeks now, I'm the size of a definitely-NOT-tiny-preggie-mom. I'm looking more and more like the bear my son has so affectionately labelled his mom. *LOL*

Just roughly comparing this pregnancy to the last one, I'd say this is a lot more tiring. Obvious factors are accountable here though - living on our own without a maid (read: i whole-heartedly try with all my might to carry out all household chores on a daily basis), having a 4 year old boy to tend to and ferry to and from school, and the fact that I started this pregnancy much heavier than I did when I carried Big Z. So yes, not hard to conclude here that I'm not a pretty picture at all this time round, have a lot more complaints to make and put simply, a less-nice person I think. Having said that, I'm heaps more active and sleeping less this time round.

Physically, I'm practically ring-less at the moment. At the end of my 4th month, I had to sadly abandon wearing my wedding rings. Yup. That soon into the pregnancy! Gone are my long, crooked, skinny fingers. They're still long and crooked, but with much more fatness wrapping them now. NOT pretty. But this, if you like, is the icing on the cake for me, as what's REALLY NOT pretty are my feet. Puffed, broad, just really plain fat and ugly la! I'm down to just one pair of flatties and sandals - all other shoes of mine are just waiting to meet my feet once again. This is another notable difference in this pregnancy compared to the last one. I wore my rings right till my due date before, and while I couldn't quite fit into the slimmer fit shoes, I could still wear most of them.

For now, the ONLY good physical change my body is going through (besides carrying a baby, that is ;-)), is my graduating to the next cup-size. *GRINS SHYLY* With the last pregnancy, I was your modest A-cupper throughout the pregnancy and even through the whole breastfeeding period (which was an unbelievably long time, mind you). So yes, this time round, I'm a B-cupper - woohoo for me! To many, this is still minute la, but it's the biggest for me, so let me have this teeny-weeny bit of joy while it lasts. *LOL*

Till the next update then ... Have a great weekend all!